Are You Married? Stop Saying These Things to Me about Dating
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Ginny Poleman
8M ago
There’s a scene in the Sex in the City reboot, And Just Like That, where Carrie and her new, career-driven, 50+, single friend, Seema talk about dating. Carrie says, “I think it’s great that you’re still putting yourself out there.” Ugh. Seema points out the insensitivity by saying, “you found the love of your life and had him for many years. And in my eyes, that is something worth still putting myself out there.” Like Seema, since my divorce, well-meaning but oblivious married friends and family say things that make me want to say, “fuck off.” For instance, after a new man ..read more
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I Want a Dating Refund From Match.com
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Julie Newburg
10M ago
“I haven’t met too many women who I want to see again. But you…” he wiggled his stubby little forefinger across the white cafe table…”you are special.” It could have been a Crossing Delancey moment, except he was not the charming Pickle Man, and I was no Amy Irving.  While I do lust after Amy Irving’s curls and that fabulous cowboy hat, he was my exceedingly schleppy Match.com date and I was me.   “You are a nice guy but I’m not sure there is a fit here for us,” I said with unusual bravado. My usual MO would have been to vaguely arrange a date and then break it off in a text, but I w ..read more
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How To Let Go of Your Scarcity Mindset After Divorce!
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Martha Bodyfelt
11M ago
Let go of your scarcity mindset after divorce! I’ve got a really embarrassing story to share with you. Right after my divorce, I was in a disaster of a relationship with a guy. Let’s call him Jared. He was my boss’s boss. He and his wife had recently separated. He was a high-ranking military colonel at my place of work. When I say this relationship was all wrong for me, it’s an understatement. He wouldn’t call when he promised he would. He would show up late to my apartment drunk if he would show up at all. He would quote Bible passages right after sex. Like, wtf?! One day at work, Jared left ..read more
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Five Reasons Why Online Dating is Better for Me than Meeting IRL
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Ginny Poleman
11M ago
Being single again after a long-term marriage, I have found the dating world is kinda different. The people are the same — men still say they’ll call but don’t. (Today they call it “ghosting,” like it’s a new thing.) What’s new are the dating apps. For me, they are the way to go. People who have never tried dating apps, say to me, “I’d rather meet someone organically.” In the five years of dating, I have yet to meet someone IRL (In Real Life). It’s not for lack of trying. I’ve done classes, bars, coffee shops, and grocery stores. has been assigned to sit next to me on the plane. Even while tra ..read more
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Do We Divorce Better With Age?
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Judith Vandenberg
11M ago
The 90s brought on a whole new trend in divorce “the grey divorce”. Couples 50 and over who had shared a long-married life were now parting ways. They were confronted with empty nests and retirement and did not want to enter the last chapter of their life in an unhappy union. Since then, the divorce rate for those age 50 and above has doubled and it has tripled for those age 65 or older. We now live in a time where divorce is both common and socially acceptable but “Do we divorce better with age?” Young couples in their 20s, in short-term marriages, with no jointly owned assets and no children ..read more
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Boobs and The Single Lady
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Julie Newburg
1y ago
I have been the recipient of very practical advice since I’ve begun dating, on topics ranging from sexually-transmitted diseases over the age of 60 to how to weed out “catfishers” on Bumble. However, the most humbling advice was from a writing friend, who received it from one of her friends, likely passed down from other well-meaning single women. “Refrain from “being on top” when you have sex. Your boobs will take on a life of their own.” I have never really liked my boobs and this is just one more reason. If sex after 60 weren’t awkward enough, with all the aging body parts, I now needed to ..read more
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Newly Single at 61: 5 Essentials I Must Have
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Julie Newburg
1y ago
I hit submit for a total of  $250 and three new bras were on their way to me. Rather than my usual excitement over new lingerie, I started to panic.  Newly single, living on just my income, I still wasn’t sure what my former spending habits would actually allow these days. So I made a list of essentials, because I really don’t require much since my separation and subsequent move into a small apartment, and hoped for the best.  I discovered that some things are simply non negotiable, regardless of the expense. These are the things that I’ve earned the right to have at age 61. 1 ..read more
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Protecting My Heart at 61
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Marcia Lansing
1y ago
“I have to work today,” I said to my new guy, while I watched him drink his black coffee, admiring the way his arms filled his T-shirt and thinking back to the night we’d just shared.  Cocktails in town followed by pizza and beer at my place, followed by slightly drunk, fun sex.  It was reminiscent of my twenties and I was happy to be with a sexy, smart guy who also seemed into me.  We’d been dating for a couple of months, and recently progressed from skulking home from cocktails and dinner in the wee hours to sleepovers with a shower, coffee, and breakfast conversation. “You ha ..read more
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Letting Go Of Tension: Riding to the Other Side
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Julie Newburg
1y ago
I inhale and downshift and give myself a silent high five as I climb the final hill back to my apartment. When I left the house this morning for my hour long bike ride, the lump of tension was lodged, like it is daily, somewhere in my upper body. Today it is in my throat. Yesterday it was in the center of my chest. I imagine it to be a small, squishy piece of black putty affixed to my innards, paralyzing me from happiness and good decisions. My shrink gave me new agey advice to “get curious” about the lump of tension, whenever and wherever it visited. “That’s why I pay you,” I grumbled to myse ..read more
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The Love Bomb
Better After 50 | Divorce
by Susan Santiago
1y ago
“If you are going to call him, do it from a position of strength,” advised my single brother, after the man I was dating unceremoniously put our short-term relationship on “pause.” I wasn’t exactly sure what “pause” meant, but I felt a deep sense of rejection. “Wait a few days until you feel better. When you aren’t so weepy. Trust me, it will be better,” my brother implored. Ignoring his wise advice, I sent the guy several pathetic text messages, left one teary voicemail and sought validation from everyone who loves me, that I was indeed amazing and beautiful and that he was a fool. I conclude ..read more
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