Healing Trifecta
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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1y ago
Trifecta I noticed the other day that every time I checked in with my emotions (something I have been doing since starting therapy)…checked in with my thoughts…checked in with my physical body…I noticed that more often than not…I felt good…not just good but more often than not I was noticing I felt great in all these areas. Going from a bit of a mental meltdown (ok…full on breakdown ??‍♀️) in January after the endoscopy disaster, I started 3 things that has helped me SO much. I started with weekly therapy. For years I have gone to therapy when I needed it, but I was only working ..read more
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43!
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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1y ago
43  I used to think 43 was so old, but I now understand that age is truly just a number...and numbers don’t define me! Every birthday I like to reflect on the past year and my 42nd year was one like no other. Because of Covid, I had way more alone time than ever before and because of that, I had no where to run to when I started getting uncomfortable with the hard questions I was asking myself... what is truly important to me, what kind of person do I want to be, what attributes draws me to and/or pushes me away from others, what gives me energy, what brings on anxiety and so much m ..read more
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Where I have been
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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1y ago
Where I have been  Many people have reached out to me to see if I am ok being as I haven’t posted much lately... I am ok now but wasn’t there for awhile.  Let me start from the beginning of my downhill slide. Wednesday, January 20 I had to get an endoscopy and colonoscopy because my iron numbers had been dropping, and I had been more tired than usual. Everything started out well...got to the procedure center, checked in, taken back to my bed, got my IV and was wheeled back for the procedures. They had me roll myself onto my side, placed a bite block in my mouth with a hole in i ..read more
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10 years Metastatic
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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2y ago
10 years metastatic  Today marks 10 years since I was told the stage 1 breast cancer had metastasized to stage 4 breast cancer (MBC)* a mere year and a half after finishing treatment for stage 1 Triple Negative breast cancer. I will never forget the day Dr. H told us that the cancer was not only back but had grown and had taken up residence in my bones and lungs. I honestly had no idea that was even possible...not going to say no one told me that it was possible because I am sure that they did tell me this but I choose to not hear it.  So when I heard that the survival rate wa ..read more
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Dealing with Depression
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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2y ago
Dealing with Depression  Since I wrote about noticing the depression creeping in a few days ago, I also started doing my list of things that I know help me... Talk therapy (from this, I am learning how to look at my emotions from an unattached place and sit with them...ask them what they are trying to tell me vs me trying to shut them up as quickly as possible because sitting with them is hard and uncomfortable.) daily score (I score my mood throughout the day (not in a bad way...it is nice for me to have a tangible number). If I notice a lower score for a few days in a row, I look i ..read more
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Practice the pause
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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2y ago
Practice the pause  Something I have been working VERY hard on...pausing before reacting...pausing before saying something harsh (either to myself or others), pausing to ask myself if the reaction I want to give will sit well with me 5 minutes later... From me practicing the pause, I have learned a lot about myself...99% of my initial reactions used to be a reaction from a place of fear...fear I would look weak, fear I wasn’t being taken seriously, fear I wasn’t enough... So much fear has been hiding in all the stories I have attached myself to...stories that weren’t and still aren ..read more
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My Why’s
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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3y ago
Why it matters to me  I have thought long and hard about how to write this, and I finally feel like I have captured my truth. I have noticed a trend that tears my heart up...people seeing issues in the world that don’t directly effect them so they easily write it off as “not my problem.” Or people saying they didn’t cause the problem, so “not my problem.” Or people who have found success believing they did it ALL on their own without help from anyone. Or now with the virus... I feel like so many people who are healthy don’t see the need to stay home because after all, they are healt ..read more
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Permission to call me out
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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3y ago
A long time ago, my husband and I gave each other permission to call each other out... We can call each other out on our own BS. Some of the things we call each other on is hard to both be the caller of or the receiver of...seeing your sh*t is hard BUT necessary. These past few days I have been letting anxiety clench me in it’s jaws...yes, I realize I am being dramatic. But after some self-reflection journaling, meditation, a talk about the monsters in my closet with my husband, and taking a hard look at what I am or am not doing to contribute to the anxiety or the soothing of it, I have d ..read more
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“Angel Wishes” - new artwork
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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3y ago
“Angel Wishes” -1 “Angel Wishes” -2 I created this series, “Angel Wishes” to enfuse your space full of sparkly energy. I envision these pieces of art hanging like Angels on your wall sprinkling down Love & Light to you. I used many, MANY layers of acrylic paint to build up the layers of texture on the canvas, along with a variety of different brushes and application techniques to add even more depth and texture. The piece is then sealed with a satin finish. “Angel Wishes” 20x20 inches $444 (S&H INCLUED) If you have additional questions or would like a few more pictur ..read more
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Goodbye Sam
Team S | Living with Stage IV Breast Cancer
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3y ago
I went to a remembrance ceremony for my friend Sam. I don’t exactly remember when I first met Sam, but I know it was at a BCRA Stage 4 group meeting. We grew closer over this past year after losing another friend from our group when we leaned on each other. She was a spunky lady who was not afraid to tell it how it is...probably why we got alone so well! She was prepared for her passing and put together her service - which was so lovely. “The end of a life is the sum of the Love that was lived in it. Being here for all the moments of Love has blessed me beyond measure.” Sam wrote. I ..read more
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