It's Onyx's 16th birthday. I wrote this long post about the past year and all the amazing things about Onyx and when I went to add photos the entire post disappeared.   During the picture retrieving process I realized how few photos I have of just Onyx. They are always spending time with one person or another.   Onyx's chosen birthday activity was a road trip with and I to VT where we spent their birthday visiting one of my bonus kids and getting a tattoo. It's difficult to believe my youngest is 16! After a couple really rough years, I hope 16 goes ..read more

  Today I became a mom to a sixth "child" (legally, that is) through adoption.  234 days ago I met Zayla at a Pride event. Somehow I knew she would be a significant part of my life from my first interaction with her.  There was a connection.  And then she joined us for Austen's 21st birthday at the Renaissance Faire.  And then she moved in. And long story short, she's a significant part of our lives, so much so that we asked her to be a permanent part of our family on Thanksgiving Day 2023. So here we are...Adoption Day began with getting ready...then cinnamon rolls ..read more

  I guess it's true when they say you need to be careful what you ask for.  On my list of fifty things is "spend more one on one time with Mom." By this, I did not mean it to involve my Dad being in the hospital for several days. Or rearranging my life and missing my kids and ... and ... and... But you know, the rearranging is working out and the kids are mostly adults and can live without their mother for a little while (it's the house that I'm most concerned about). But timing is everything and there are medical appointments to be rearranged or changed to telehealth, and mere day ..read more

We're twenty days in and I'm done with this year ... until I'm not.   The end of 2023 to the present was a labyrinth of emotions.  We lost one of the children we had gained last year when he decided he needed to do something different with his life that didn't involve joining our family through adult adoption as planned. We gained a teenager for twelve days shortly thereafter, and the ebb and flow of sadness and anger and happiness and joy made the processing of everything that was happening more difficult, but also brought much needed diversion and laughter.  I had a brai ..read more

We celebrated her first birthday along with her 29th. I took lots of photos ...Zayla with a photo of her and her brothers given to her as a gift...Zayla making a face because she knew I was taking a photo. But my favorite photos are the candid ones. The ones she looks at and doesn't recognize herself. The ones where she is able to glimpse a little bit of the beauty I see when I look at her.  Zayla,  I'm so glad you're here and I'm so glad you're here. You, my daughter, are loved beyond measure.  Of all the gifts that I'd love to lavish on you, the most important ones don't co ..read more

  A new year is the perfect time to reboot.  One of my 50 things this year is to reboot ... to start from scratch; to forgive others and myself and wipe the slate clean; to discover new ways of doing things that work for myself and my family.   So here's to letting go of negative thoughts and emotions and starting anew ..read more

  Today is the last day of 2023 ... and I have now entered my fiftieth year of existence. It's time for a new "word of the year" and that word is "fifty." In 2024, I'm going to write fifty blog posts about fifty things that I accomplish. I have a list of those things, which may be updated or changed depending on health, finances, etc. The list includes adopting Zayla, making a snow angel, and reading fifty books. That last one is incredibly daunting, considering I didn't get through a single book in 2023.  Some of the things are mundane. Some are incredibly ambitious. Some scare th ..read more

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  The Sloppy Waffle has amazing waffles. Onyx, Dakota, and I split three different kinds of waffles because we couldn't decide what to order.  Ans then at Target ..read more

  On the Second Day of Kotamas, Onyx and Dakota and Zayla and I went to the Claypen in West Hartford for some pottery painting fun.  Upon leaving, we met up with Zayla's younger brother, William, and the two of them went to a restaurant to meet up with their older brother to eat good food and catch up. I felt like I'd  met William before, but couldn't place where or when I might have done so. Later that evening, Zayla asked if I'd mind picking her up, and I was happy to do so, especially since it meant that I might meet her brothers.  As they exited the restaurant, I imme ..read more