The classic ‘flag’ garnish looks nice with a blackberry instead of a Maraschino cherry. Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. Spring is slowly coming to Ohio, which makes me think of fruit-forward classics. I found a recipe for a Blackberry Old Fashioned, and I thought I knew what I was getting into. I’ve cranked out dozens of Old Fashioneds in my time behind the pine. Then I realized that we were making a Wisconsin Old Fashioned … and Wisconsinites do things different. Let’s check out a Midwest classic with a nice berry twist. Spring subscription drive time! Who’s ready to joi ..read more

In this case, the Cybertruck is being driven into a stream deliberately. Video screenshot, Motor Trend. At the end of a week that began with mass layoffs, Tesla Motors has agreed to recall every single Cybertruck made so far — just short of 4,000 of the butt-ugly things — to fix a problem with the trucks’ accelerator pedals, which could get stuck. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) announced the recall in a notice on its website. The notice said the pad on the accelerator pedal can come loose and get stuck in the trim above the pedal, which is a problem if you do not ..read more

“‘Cause God is on my side / And I am the child bride” Because Israel and Iran keep launching missiles at each other, the Republican presidential nominee is sitting in a courtroom being tried for multiple white-collar felonies, conservatives are trying to legislate transgender people out of existence, and quite a few other monstrosities, we could really use some Nice Time to take our minds off our fucked-up and dystopic world. So here’s one: Our native state of Virginia has answered our prayer by fully banning child marriage, thus at least temporarily taking possession of the title of Not the ..read more

Lucifer screencap Ron DeSantis has signed an absolute whirlwind of psychotic bills into law this month, from 30-year prison sentences for shoplifting to barring cities from requiring businesses to give their employees water and access to shade on extremely hot days. Because how do you even know that you’re doing capitalism right if no one dies of heat stroke? Several of these laws affect public schools — including a bill to require students to learn about “the history of communism and why it is bad” starting in kindergarten and another to allow religious chaplains in schools for “soul craft ..read more

Via Austin Smith’s campaign page So much voter fraud! This time it’s courtesy of Arizona state Rep. Austin Smith (R-Wittman), who was also senior director for the “Chase The Vote” initiative at Turning Point Action, the campaign arm of Charlie Kirk’s Turning Point USA. It’s a title he took so seriously that just got his dumb ass busted allegedly forging more than 100 voter signatures to get himself on the 2024 ballot. Smith’s now resigned from the Arizona House and from his position at Turning Point. But don’t worry, it’s not because he suddenly discovered shame or personal responsibility, h ..read more

“Oi, guv’nur! Want an echinacea boost in yer smoothie, wut wut?” We have read about America’s Lochner era, when the Supreme Court spent a couple of decades striking down every market and labor regulation it could get its soft and uncalloused fingers on. But did we honestly think we would ever be living through its revival? No. But then, we also never thought we’d be living through the pre-Roe era, the Republicans aligning with a Russian leader era, the “Let’s try fascism again, what could possibly go wrong” era, the “elect a game show host president? Ha ha, what do you think this is, a Mike ..read more

A landscape in Utah. Photo: US Bureau of Land Management The US Department of the Interior has a nice little present for America: a new “Public Lands Rule” that will fundamentally change how the government manages public lands. For the first time ever the US will require that recreation, conservation, habitat preservation, and clean energy development balance out land use policy, which for most of US history has been aimed primarily at handing over parcels of public lands for commercial exploitation. We only need 157 more paid subscribers to go, then we get a field trip! Hold on, we mean A ..read more

After Donald Trump’s third day of being tried criminally for some of his millions of crimes against America, humanity and God, he did that thing on Thursday where he waddles out of the courtroom to show us he’s still got gas in the tank for some good old bitching. Acyn from Media Matters clipped all this hilarious shit. Let us set this up. Trump is holding a large stack papers, because as we know, he is the oldest person who ever lived, and the saddest, and the weakest of spirit, and he has to have a blonde lady follow him around and manually print things out from the internet that make him ..read more

Is there really a racial political realignment? Capital B News says naw man. Are young people really voting for Trump? Harvard IOP poll says nah mang. (Della Volpe) Just 207 158 more paid subscribers to go and the class gets a pizza party! No, the class gets ADORABLE ANIMALS for a WEEK! New House Speaker “YOLO” Johnson? LOLO! (Talking Points Memo) Judge James Ho thinks only YOU can prevent “forum shaming.” I hope my side-eye doesn’t stay like this, it’s beginning to smart! (Balls and Strikes) Laura Loomer still wants attention. “And I just can’t believe how hard I worked to be a candida ..read more

Jury selection continues on day three of Donald Trump’s first criminal trial. There’s been a bit more drama with that, too, and at this point it sure does appear Fox News and Trump are coordinating to intimidate jurors. But let’s close the afternoon with a reminder that, though MAGA mouthbreathers are still Yet She Persisted lying and saying Judge Juan Merchan is DENYING DONALD TRUMP HIS SACRED RIGHT TO ATTEND THE GRADUATION OF HIS BELOVED SON WHAT’S-HIS-NAME, WHICH HE PROBABLY WASN’T GOING TO GO TO ANYWAY, Merchan has still made no ruling on that request, and likely won’t until much closer ..read more