Let’s Take Another Deep Breath
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
It doesn’t seem that long ago when I wrote a slew of articles to support the many under chronically high levels of stress, worry and preoccupation during the pandemic.  A common thread connecting my audience, clients and many people around me was uncertainty.  No matter how people experienced it, the collective response involved some level of fear and loss of control.  As humans can do, we sharpened our resilience and in many cases dug into what self-care during crisis looks like. A recent Kaiser survey survey showed that 90% of the public believes there is a mental health cris ..read more
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The Problem with Perfectionism and How to Move Away From It
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
The need to be perfect, perfectionism, can be a real challenge for people, impacting personal happiness and general well-being.  Perfectionistic behavior can also negatively impact relationships.  The problem is that there is often a real benefit to having your act together, being extremely detail oriented and seemingly able to do it all.  And you may get a lot of positive feedback from those around you that reinforces this behavior.  The reward system can be plentiful in this way.  However the long term consequences of constantly trying to live up to such a high bar ..read more
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Two Ways to Boost the Emotional Safety in Your Relationship
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
Emotional safety is one of the most important elements of any happy and healthy relationship.  Yet there are so many ways it can be compromised.  Sometimes it happens inadvertently and other times it’s a more direct assault on the foundation of the relationship. When a couple has a high level of emotional safety they usually have a number of things going for them simultaneously; they feel heard, understood, feel prioritized and trust each other.  They ultimately feel deeply loved, secure in the sense that they are there for each other through the twist and turns of life.  ..read more
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How to Reset, Renew and Find Yourself
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
A lot has happened societally over the last several years.  People have had to wrestle with numerous challenges and adapt.  And still now many are contemplating where we are and what it means moving forward.  When there is a lot of change, challenge and angst, it’s normal to be introspective around how you fit in.  It can also be a silver lining moment to be unexpectedly led to consider the things that would create a chance for more personal happiness and life satisfaction. What’s important? What’s not? Who is important? Who is emotionally draining? Who are your people? Wh ..read more
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OCD, Two Sisters and Their Quest to Encourage Others to Live Presently
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
Emily and Lindsay are two sisters living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Anxiety.  Through their life experiences, therapy and a little inspiration, they turned their mental health challenges into a unique mission to support others with similar challenges.  Emily Stetzer shares their story here. I had always been an anxious girl — from refusing to go to school, to wrestling with the guilt of watching an R-rated movie when I wasn’t allowed, to experiencing terrible anxiety in college — my anxiety had evolved over the years. It was always a part of my life. And part of my famil ..read more
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10 Reasons You Need Therapy Now
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
The stigma around seeing a therapist is not nearly what it once was.  In fact, many understand that going to therapy doesn’t mean there is “something wrong with you” but rather there are things you may not be able to see or understand in yourself that a therapist can help illuminate, then guide you to remove the obstacles that have held you back individually and/or in your relationships. When I first started my private practice many years ago, it was more common to see shame and embarrassment come up for people when they began therapy.  They were less likely to talk about it with ot ..read more
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Bad Relationships on Repeat? Break Your Unhealthy Patterns
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
Criticism.  Sarcasm.  Disrespect.  Repeat. These are just some of the relationship behaviors that some when reoccurring can leave you wondering, “How did I get here again?”  The relationship may have even started great, you thought he/she was incredible, a nice person, a good match.  But when red flags started to wave you either ignored them or excused them away because you wanted this to be what you hoped it was. The chemistry is incredible!  They are so doting and attentive!  They are the life of the party! If you’ve cycled through a lot of painful relatio ..read more
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Combat Loneliness by Learning to Connect
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
We humans have an innate, deep need for connection with each other. It can feel great when we connect but if not, it can lead to loneliness.  Inauthenticity and emotional availability are just a few of the ways people behave that can reflect their challenges in this area.  The reality is it can be hard to connect with others because it’s scary to open up and be real and vulnerable.   There are many reasons why this a challenge, often stemming from family of origin issues but the important thing is to recognize this as a problem and commit to doing something about it ..read more
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Let’s Take Another Deep Breath
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
It doesn’t seem that long ago when I wrote a slew of articles to support the many under high levels of stress, worry and preoccupation during the pandemic.  A common thread connecting my readers, clients and many people around me was uncertainty and loss of control.  We sharpened our resilience and in many cases had to dig deep to learn what self-care during crisis looks like. A recent Kaiser survey survey showed that 90% of the public believes there is a mental health crisis.  Primary concerns are mental health issues with teens and children, and anxiety or depression in adult ..read more
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Resilience and the 6 C’s of Coping
Love And Life Toolbox
by Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT
1M ago
Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity which can include illness, loss, financial instability, natural disasters and any other highly stressful events.  With all we have been through globally in the last several years, it’s evident people have learned how to cope with a lot of challenges.  Sadly, the undulating waves of collective stress, worry and grief continue, while bearing witness to an unprovoked war and unfolding human tragedy in Ukraine. There is a palpable sense of feeling frayed again and time for a reminder about how to pool your inner resources to weather th ..read more
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