My beloved dog, Kate, has died. For almost 18 years she was my companion and huge source of joy. Kate was the smartest dog I’ve ever had and her ability to anticipate what I wanted, and then do it before I asked, constantly amazed me. She was our dog, Neal’s and mine–and he wasn’t a dog person–but there was something about Kate that touched his heart. Losing Kate also feels a bit like losing Neal again. She was the last thing we still shared.  Kate had a big life. She lived in Russia, Toronto, Las Vegas and New York City. She traveled with me all over the country. She even met Cesar Mill ..read more

I have read The New York Times  “Modern Love” column for at least a decade. The writing is consistently beautiful, and the stories, each unique, have a magical ability to take the reader to places she or he might not normally trek. It has been one of my writing goals to have an essay published in “Modern Love.”  A writing professor of mine called the column, “the toughest writing gig around.”  Writer K. Nicole Whitaker stated, “It seems the holy grail of essay writing about love is the New York Times ‘Modern Love’ column.” The rejection rate of a “Modern Love” sub ..read more

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling a bit blue lately. Not a serious, deep depression but more a just-under-the-surface malaise or maybe melancholy. I understand the source of this—the pandemic—but in that understanding, there’s also no end in sight.  I know, I know. Fauci has said we’re getting there but I’m not so old that I’ve forgotten the Hot Vax Summer that never was. I was looking forward to it if you must know. Lots of middle-aged casual sex with other vaxholes like me bragging about our double shot status because, well, you know, that’s sexy as hell.  It was d ..read more

…one night Mike was in the city having dinner with friends and he called me when leaving the restaurant. “I want to kiss you,” he said and then asked, “Can I drive to your apartment, and will you meet me outside?” He knew I lived with my youngest daughter and visiting me late at night would not be acceptable.  “Uh, no. I’m in bed with my faced washed and my pjs on.”  I’m not sure why I didn’t want him to drive by? I love spontaneity and it was a romantic gesture. He wasn’t aiming for a booty call, he just wanted to kiss me. I regret not allowing that to happen.  Mike invited me ..read more

I called it the “____Manifesto,” and the blank line was his name. Which, in hindsight, was probably the wrong descriptor when hoping to appear stable–and sane. OK, let me explain. I wanted wanted to start off with humor and then pivot immediately to baring my soul. It was done spontaneously and that’s normally not my style.  BUT, I’m getting way ahead of myself, so let’s start from the beginning.  When I finished the dating blog I was completely burned out. I had been on a roller coaster of dates for a year and desperately needed a break. I took myself offline and figured I’d go old ..read more

We made our way to the parking garage and SUV Jack had rented. When he opened the back there was little room for my small suitcase and carry-on bag because Jack’s cumbersome (and hideous and filthy and beat to shit) bags were haphazardly strewn throughout most of the space. The fact that he had ugly luggage provides little relevance to this story and didn’t really matter to me at the time, but I pretended to be horrified, “Oh…wow…that’s…really something,” I said, as I squeezed my rollaboard into to the space. Have I mentioned I can be condescending when irritated?  We were at In-N-Out in ..read more

Although Jack was not the sort of guy I typically swiped right on, there was something about his Bumble profile that got my attention. It certainly wasn’t his pics. His blurb was cleverly written with pithy humor and good sentence structure.  “Never Underestimate the Appeal of Good Sentence Structure” should probably be printed on t-shirts.  Sure, Jack was shorter than the height I preferred (5’10” or taller) and he kind of resembled an old timey comedian whose name I couldn’t recall, but I threw prudence to the cyclone as my swiping finger said, “What the hell.” It was an instant ma ..read more

Well, I’m sixty fucking years old. 60th birthday Cooper’s Beach, Southampton Ten years ago, (TEN!) I started the blog, “One Year of Online Dating at 50” and chronicled 365 days of digital dating. Much has changed in the dating arena over the last decade. There are apps, social media dating such as via Facebook and amid a pandemic, virtual dating. People have fallen in love while Zooming with prospective partners/serial killers living a few blocks away—or even across the pond.  BUT, as much as online dating has evolved, some things remain the same. There’s still a hell of a lot of misfits ..read more

Meet Sulimon and listen as he describes what he’s looking for in a woman. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with appearance. Sulimon shares he once had a recording contract so if you would like to hear more of his music, beyond the song included in the podcast, you can find him on Spotify and iTunes (Sulimon Balogun). To listen to the podcast on iTunes click HERE. To listen to the podcast from this website, click HERE. Here’s wishing Suli finds a woman with just the right energy because he deserves every happiness. PS-My podcast editor said, “Oh my god there was so much sexual tension be ..read more

Happy New Year! I thought it would be a good time to reach out via the blog and check in. I know you hear from me with each Single Because Podcast episode, but I’m in need of this sort of contact with all of you. I’ve been on and off dating apps over the last year. I’ve even had a few experiences that have gone beyond a date or two. Alas, in the words of U2, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. It’s not for lack of trying, though. Who am I kidding? Here’s the truth, I’ve been half-assing it most of the time, even with men who might be mistaken for the models on the over-50 dating site ..read more