March Madness and A Walk on the Mild Side
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
7h ago
(This is a republication of the March posting from 2023). March seems to be a month of “Anything Goes.” During this end of winter/beginning of spring, a lot happens: Change to Daylight Saving, Tax preparation, collecting seeds for spring gardening, St. Patrick’s Day, Oscar’s Night, the Ides of March. Here is Santa Fe, as we begin Spring, the weather is wildly unpredictable. One day it’s warm and sunny, the next may bring several inches of snow. In Tehran, where I lived in the 1960s, March signaled the beginning of a new Year. Naw Ruz (pronounced “No Ruse”), was, and still is, a time for festiv ..read more
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Love Letter Straight from the Heart
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
1M ago
White roses were my mom’s favorite flower My adoption history begins with a 1930s love story, that of my adoptive parents Richard and Reva Beard. They’d been teenage sweethearts in Findlay, Ohio, they married in 1937, and they put off starting their family until my father-to-be earned his doctorate from Ohio State University. For six years, while Richard earned his PhD in clinical psychology, Reva taught elementary school. When it turned out that they were not able to have children, they decided to adopt. The outbreak of World War II, however, further delayed the formation of a family. Richard ..read more
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Julie’s Adoption Story
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
1M ago
“Secondary rejection” is a well-known term in the adoption world. It refers to the disappointment, hurt, or rejection that adoptees and/or birth relatives experience as they attempt to connect with family members they lost to adoption. The first rejection is adoption itself, which adoption writer, Nancy Verrier, aptly termed the “primal wound.” A secondary rejection shows up when:  – a birth mother is reluctant to share the secret of an unplanned pregnancy with a spouse or family member – a birth parent or adoptee declines to facilitate introductions to relatives and friends  – heal ..read more
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GLOW CLUB Turns 45 and Other News
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
2M ago
Nearly half a century ago, a group of women in my neighborhood founded a running and brunch club. I was one of those Founding Mothers. Actually, most of us were runners then. Today, it’s mainly walking. We met at a different home each month, ran three to five miles, and returned to enjoy a potluck brunch. Recently, at my house, we celebrated our founding. More about the house later. Why, you might be wondering, did we choose the name “Glow Club,” rather than something like “Santa Fe Strollers” or “Women Walkers.” It’s because of longtime member Dede, who quipped, “Men sweat but women glow.” N ..read more
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Saying Goodbye to the House
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
2M ago
The good news is that I’ve decided to sell my house and move to a senior community. I look forward to a simpler life. The bad news is that I’ve just spent my last Christmas at the old place and it leaves me feeling nostalgic, bereft, and sad. I will miss the beautiful, rambling ranch-style home that’s taken care of me for 49 years. It’s not that I wanted to leave but the time had come for a smaller place, a simpler lifestyle that would allow more time to write. Less time maintaining a large house and yard. I turned 80. As I entered another decade, I realized that the time was now. Now, while ..read more
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Letting Go of the Perfect Holiday
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
3M ago
By: Emily Shirley This is a re-publication originally posted December 2022. We have all seen the Folgers commercial where the big brother comes home from college and starts making coffee. As the coffee smell reaches upstairs, the family comes down to greet him. They are all smiles in the perfectly decorated home with this perfect holiday moment of love all around and… well, perfection. In other Christmas commercials, the adult children with their perfect families drive up, all smiles and carrying gifts. The food somehow magically appeared without anyone shopping for days, standing on their fe ..read more
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Adoption: Still my “Something”
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
4M ago
Note from Elaine: November will soon be gone. “Busy” doesn’t begin to describe life.  I am leaving my home of 50 years, moving to a Santa Fe senior living community. De-acquisitioning 80 years’ worth of accumulation, starting with books. Holding garage sales, I’m whittling down a 1,000-book collection – finding good homes for cherished volumes. It fills me with joy to see my books go out in the arms of fellow bibliophiles.  I’ll keep my top hundred books for the future,  smaller new digs. In the meantime, I am re-running a post from the past. Clara Jordan, the protagonist of All ..read more
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An Ode to Halloweens Past
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
5M ago
Turn back the clock 40 years. It’s October 31st and my two sons, ages 5 and 7, can’t wait to go Trick or Treating. Under their white ghost costumes, they’re wearing Winnie the Pooh sleepers. Zia Road, a dirt street at the edge of town, has little traffic. We know most of the neighbors and their children, Cathy Ortiz across the street, the Dixon kids, the Joneses, the Lovato boys. We’ve gone to just a couple of their houses when a misty rain begins to fall. The temperature’s dropping; before we know it, rain has turned to snow. Falling thick and fast. What started out as fun is now operation O ..read more
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Adopting Autumn
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
5M ago
To Autumn ~ John Keats (1795-1821) SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness, Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun; Conspiring with him how to load and bless With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run; To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees, And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core; To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells With a sweet kernel; to set budding more, And still more, later flowers for the bees, Until they think warm days will never cease; For Summer has o’erbrimm’d their clammy cells. Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store? Sometimes whoever seeks abro ..read more
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Blue Monday or Serenity in San Diego
The Goodbye Baby | Adoptee Diaries
by elainepinkerton
5M ago
The road going nowhere in particular “Wherever you go, you take yourself with you” goes the saying. After arriving for a short vacation in one of my favorite cities, San Diego, I was therefore not surprised that “Edgar” had brought himself along for the ride. He, or “it” if you prefer, had packed himself in the depths of my ginormous suitcase, amongst the slacks, tops, electronics, books, walking shoes and books. Egad, can’t I go anywhere to escape from that demon? To understand Edgar, you need to know that I am a “recovering” adoptee. My original mother relinquished me when I was five. Even t ..read more
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