Youngest foster child has come through a bad...
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
6d ago
 Youngest foster child has come through a bad patch. School wasn't working as well as it might and the child was reluctant to get ready in the morning. I often ended up going out the front door, and sitting in the car to give a sense of inevitability that the school run will happen even though the child is stubbornly sitting on the bottom stair not putting on their shoes. These stand-offs were tiring, but are by no means confined to fostering. Our eldest birth child was much the same, and he ended up at a decent university so we're philosophiocal about the diehards who think that 6 or 7 h ..read more
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MOMENTS THAT MAKE YOUR HEART GO ZING
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
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1w ago
 Fostering can be a delight, it can also be a slog. I doubt I'm telling anyone anything they don't already know. It's human nature to dwell on the things that could be better rather than the things that are going great, and that's good because there's always something that wants improving. If we fostering folk went around with our heads in the clouds there'd be little or no progress. Once a month (in my case) I get a visit from my Blue Sky Social Worker. It's her job to help me keep at the top of my game. It's also her job to help me see where I'm getting things right. On the whole, fgost ..read more
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FOSTERING CHILDREN AND ….DEATH
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
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2w ago
 A foster carer who often offers wisdom on this blog, "Mooglet" commented on "Home From Home" that sometimes their dog is first to spot when a foster child is sad or troubled. So, so true. Not that foster carers are oblivious to a child's moods, far from it. It's the kernel of what we do. But we also have to cook dinner, keep the house tidy, do the shopping… …get the car through its MOT, find someone competent to fix the gutter, keep an eye on mum who's not getting any younger.  I could go on. We fostering people have to fit our fostering in with everything else life demands. The fam ..read more
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CHECK YOUR POCKETS FOR FISH
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
2w ago
We had a really healthy argument in the house yesterday, between me and our middle foster child. When you start in fostering you hope it's going to be roses all the way, and there are bouqets aplenty for sure, but there's no such thing as roses all the way in human affairs. Sometimes it's nettles and brambles, and the art of fostering is making sure it ends as roses.  What the foster mum or dad needs to do is embrace the occassional hiccup and make good use of it. What happened was this; Middle foster child needed to have a piece of course work printed off to hand in. The document was a m ..read more
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HOME FROM HOME
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
1M ago
 Anyone who's had a child of their own will know this one; You're in a supermarket looking for the peanut butter which they re-locate to keep you browsing. Suddenly you hear a baby crying. You freeze. A shiver runs down your spine, your body tenses. It triggers memories of a call to action from the past, when your little one needed you. You'd fly out of bed and run to their room, or drop the potato peeler and, drying your hands on your pants, run to the source of that urgent noise. Yet on this occasion you're down by the milk, the baby is 3 aisles away and definitely not your problem. But ..read more
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DO YOU GIVE YOURSELF "OASIS MOMENTS?"
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
1M ago
In fostering you need little "oasis" moments. One of mine happens around 10.00am weekdays. I'm up a tad too early for my liking, we're a two-dog household at the moment, and the pair of them gang up to ask for breakfast earlier and earlier. Our second dog is technically temporary, we're 'looking after her' while a relative sorts themselves out. Blue Sky always do a check-up on pets in foster homes. Our retriever underwent a cursory psychology check with our vet, but our second dog is hamster-size, 13 years old, half blind and toothless so she was waved through as safe.  Mind, 4.45am isn't ..read more
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OUT OF THE BLUE
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
1M ago
 We had an "unannounced visit" today. An unanounced visit is a brilliant Blue Sky feature. They simply show up at your place, big smiles, and say "Hi! Unannounced visit!" The idea is that foster parents can tidy up the house when we know a social worker is due and make sure the child's room is in order. And that there's no bleach in the downstairs toilet. By which I mean that there can be bleach in the toilet bowl, but not a bottle of bleach left out on top of the cistern. Okay it could be slightly awkward because the bottom line is that we foster parents are under scrutiny, but the deal ..read more
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CHRISTMAS ALWAYS GIVES..IN THE END
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
1M ago
 It's post-Christmas-time at the moment here in the UK. The last few weeks if you foster are always…I'm going to say…interesting. But however interesting it gets, the Christmas Holidays are one of the big rewards in fostering. Our own families fill our lives more than usual, but if you foster your fortnight is filled with not only your own family, but other people's. It's a Godsend that Blue Sky Social Workers are on the ball with this; mine starts talking in early December about how we're going to organise it, starting from the day they break-up until the day they go back. Thing is; ther ..read more
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THEY GROW
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
2M ago
 Our eldest foster child is now old enough to drive. And so he does. We insured him for our modest Peugeot 208 (cost: arm and a leg).  I can say for sure, hand on heart, nothing has emboldened him for the adult life ahead more or better than driving. We have apps on our phones that let us track him and register top speeds, acceleration and sudden braking. He's a bit quicker than us, but doesn't break the limit. He knows we can monitor him, and he seems delighted; it's another bond with us, and what's much more is that he can show what a good adult he is becoming. We've drummed into h ..read more
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THE WAY THEY BLOOM
Blue Sky Fostering | The Secret Foster Carer
by
2M ago
All parenting is fraught with endless fears and trepidations. It's not until you look back that you can separate the many joys from the many mini-traumas that beset our most important role in life, namely trying to be a good parent. If you can do it halfway well with your own children you can pull it off for other people's children.  BTW, you don't need to have had children of your own to foster well. My best friend in fostering is a mother who never had any children of her own and she is more than mustard. But. If you had your own children, there are experiences you can bring to bear. I ..read more
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