In fostering you get quiet moments. Not a lot of them, but by golly they're welcome. Fostering is hectic enough without us foster parents keeping up the pressure on oursleves when we get the house to ourselves or some other breather from the hurley-burley. You have to make the most of "me-time" when it comes along. Blue Sky are always advising us foster parents to look after ourselves, because, they say, if we foster parents aren't at the top of our game our fostering won't be at its best. I seem to use our kitchen table as my oasis. When I've got everyone to school I make myself a cup o ..read more

 We foster parents are expected to provide our foster kids with their "Basic Needs". The"Basic Needs" as set out by a revered expert called Maslow. The most basic of basic needs - the bottom layer of the heirarchy Maslow says - are; food, water, warmth and rest. After providing those we provide the next layer; security and safety. And so it goes up to the top of the heirarchy of needs. The top layer is where we help the child achieve "self-actualisation", meaning that they fulfill their potential. But to start, we provide the most basic needs. And it's always chimed with my experience tha ..read more

 Children in care need their phones. Look, I know all about the potential pitfalls, I've attended more Blue Sky training sessions on IT and mobile phones than you can shake a stick at. On top of what I've learned I use my own native intelligence to keep our foster children safe. But; make no mistake. They NEED their phones. They need them big time. So as foster parents, working with our Social Workers, we have to find what the professionals call a pathway to what they call best practice. Gary is eleven, and when he came to us the had his own phone. Younger children sometimes have teddy be ..read more

Fostering is wonderful in many ways, but it does make you softer, I think. You give a bit more to the poor homeless person in the shop doorway, buy a spongee you don't need from the lad who rings your doorbell saying he's just out of remand and trying to go straight. A while ago we took in a tiny little dog that no-one wanted. She's dying, basically. But we're all comforting her and trying to make her last months here not too bad. Blue Sky waived their normal dog vetting procedures, the little mutt has no teeth left. BS have a heart too. Our foster kids are, I think, touchen bu this basic huma ..read more

 It's been an interesting couple of days. Mind, I could probably describe any 'couple of days' in fostering as 'interesting'. You don't get bored when you foster. No siree. What happened was this; My phone rang and I could see from the screen it was Blue Sky. Joy of joys it was their Placement people calling to ask the golden question: "Would you consider taking a child who…" I've had my phone light up with Blue Sky asking this question countless times (a hundred maybe..) and it never ceases to quicken the pulse. During the quick call - and it's quick - the potential foster parent is give ..read more

 I went to a dinner thing many years ago, the guest speaker was an Air Traffic Controller. We used to live near a major airport and practically everyone we knew worked at the airport in one capacity or another. The speaker was chosen from an after-dinner speaker agency a) because he would talk about the airport, and b) because he was known to be terribly funny. He was hilarious.* His opening line was pure gold; "I've been an air traffic controller for 30 years. And I'm going to stick at it until I get it right…" The expression of theatrical terror on his face had us holding our sides for ..read more

 When a foster child goes back to their real home, it means a number of things for the foster home. One stands out. You now have a spare bedroom, so the excitement begins again. We're in that boat today, now middle child has returned home. First up, Blue Sky check out where we're at with our fostering. They do this with all their foster parents who have a room available. They need to verify that the family in the foster home are ready willing and able to take a new child, and if so what sort of profile would be best for all concerned. Would we prefer an infant or an older child? Are there ..read more

 Sometimes being in fostering has hidden perks. So there I was in the doctors' waiting room waiting my turn. I was wet and cold with the winter rain outside. I needed the doctor to see about a trapped nerve in my neck. It came on suddenly, I'd lain awake at night in discomfort, wondering where it had come from. Probably picking up toddlers and holding them to my right shoulder (have you noticed almost all mums of babies hold them with their head to mum's left side, but when they get toddlerish you hold them to the right?) Sorry, off message. So. There were about 6 of us sat there staring ..read more

 Night time is always worth plenty of thinking about in fostering, because for the foster parent it can seem a lonely time. We get plenty of support, there's always someone at Blue Sky, or whatever one's agency or local authorority is, we can phone or email if there's something.  During the day. But out-of-hours (night time), we inevitably feel a tad more alone. Blue Sky have a  24 hour service and that's great, I did call once, and got good advice, but the officers don't quite feel the same as the social workers who know your case inside out. It's easy, sometimes, to get your f ..read more

 Remember when we had a working class, a middle class and an upper class? And 'blue collar' workers and 'white collar' workers? No? I do.  Ah, categorisation was easy not so long ago. Nowadays we have more 'demographies' than you can shake a stick at. Thanks to fostering I've come to treating each person as an individual and finding out their personal story rather than pigeon-holing them. My thing now is to try not to jump to conclusions about a family because they live on a particular housing estate, or drive a Range Rover, which was a trap I used to fall into. We looked after a lad ..read more