No time for adoptive parent fragility! Get your child's certificate of citizenship!
Third Mom
by
2y ago
We adoptive parents are a fragile lot, always getting our knickers in a twist about something or other related to adoption. Sometimes the brand is deserved, sometimes it's not. But there’s one thing that I absolutely agree falls into the category of adoptive parent fragility – or entitlement, selfishness, call it what you will - and that's the whining out there about the burden and expense of obtaining a certificate of citizenship for an adopted child. It has gotten expensive, to be sure - $1170 this year. No one likes the bureaucratic headache, either, me included - I could share my family's ..read more
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Stand with Adoptees for Citizenship
Third Mom
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2y ago
Korea Adoption Services, or KAS, the Republic of Korea’s central authority for intercountry adoption, just published a summary of the support the ROK will provide to adoptees deported from their adoptive countries: •  Housing support: 2 years lease, subsidizing the maintenance fee •  Living expense support: 500,000 KRW by the month (2 years) •  Korean language support: private tutoring (2 years) •   Medical support: national health insurance, medications, medical expenses (2 years) •   Psychotherapy support: psychological test (f ..read more
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Family, Fairness and Love: #CitizenshipforAllAdoptees
Third Mom
by
2y ago
In February the adoption community the Child Citizenship Act of 2000 will have been in effect for 17 years. This legislation was passed to ensure that children brought to the U.S. by American families would enjoy the same legal protection as the children born to American parents. Along with citizenship for transnational adoptees, the bill promised adoptive parents a citizenship process with less bureaucracy and expense. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Yes, and for many intercountry adoptees and adoptive families, the CCA 2000 delivered exactly what it promised: automatic citizenship for adoptees an ..read more
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On September 11
Third Mom
by
2y ago
In honor and remembrance of the victims of the attacks on September 11, 2001, I post the tributes to Stanley L. Temple and Brian Magee I wrote years ago as part of the 2996 Project. I hope they are resting in peace, and that their families and friends have found comfort over the years. In Memory of Stanley L. Temple  Here is what I know of you:  Stanley L. Temple 77 New York, NY United States World Trade Center In all the memorial sites and the newspaper articles, there are no memorials to you. No family members and friends write of your life, no obituaries mark your birth a ..read more
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Dear Peter Cvjetanovic
Third Mom
by
2y ago
Because you felt empowered to enter my state and a city I hold dear with a message of hate that ultimately took the lives of three innocent people, I am empowering myself to write directly to you, privately and publicly. With the ugly photo of your hatred spread across the world, you now are trying to step away from the hate you brought, diluting your reality with the ridiculous notion that you somehow “care for all people.” You state in one article that “white European culture has a right to be here just like every other culture.” Well, it’s clear that your white supremacist friends have brai ..read more
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Well, what?
Third Mom
by
2y ago
I took one of those online quizzes the other day. This one was to determine my personality type, extrovert vs. introvert. I expected the same result I’ve gotten for decades - extrovert – and was frankly a little concerned that it told me I was a solid introvert. Although I normally don’t pay much attention to these games, this one got my attention, because I have been sensing a change in my personality over the last couple of years. I feel like I’ve been withdrawing into myself, and I don’t like it. I’m pretty sure I know why, too. Adoption has been my world for a long, long time. It entered m ..read more
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Dear President Moon: Stop the Madness
Third Mom
by
2y ago
Saying he will become the "president of all people," President Moon Jae-In of the Republic of Korea has invited the Korean people to send him their policy ideas. Whether this effort to throw open the doors of government will have any real effect on South Korean policy remains to be seen. But, at a bare minimum, it offers people an opportunity to voice to their hopes and fears to President Moon in more than tweets or sound bytes. I am adding my voice, for two reasons. First, as an American adoptive parent with an interest in U.S.-ROK relations, I am compelled to call out the injustice of inter ..read more
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Hyunsu's Butterfly
Third Mom
by
2y ago
On Monday June 12th, I had the pleasure of joining the unveiling of a statue memorializing little Hyunsu Kim at the Linwood Center in Ellicott City, Maryland. Known in much of the American media as Madoc O’Callaghan, Hyunsu was brutally murdered by his American adopter, Brian O’Callaghan, on February 3rd, 2014. He would have turned seven on May 17th. The work of husband and wife artists Thomas Park Clement and Wonsook Kim, 현수의 나비 (Hyunsu's Butterfly) is one of a pair of statues memorializing Hyunsu’s short life. The first was unveiled on April 4th at The Daniel School in Seoch ..read more
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Woulda, shoulda, coulda
Third Mom
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2y ago
I anticipated that my post last week would generate a variety of comments, and was therefore not surprised when something along these lines appeared shortly after I published it: You are saying to your children that you shouldn’t have adopted them. The thoughts behind this comment are old friends. I wrote about this almost eleven years ago to the day in one of the first posts here, and had I not spent these last eleven years focusing on adoption’s challenges rather than its joys, I might have stopped my adoption journey right there. Let's face it: no adoptive parent wants to betray thei ..read more
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Off the Fence
Third Mom
by
2y ago
For years, decades really, I have been unable to find the words I’m speaking now. All this writing for all these years danced on the fringes of this, to my everlasting shame. I was afraid that speaking truth would hurt my kids, and so I shied away, criticizing but never denouncing. But a straw has broken this camel’s back and it is time to say this out loud. Intercountry adoption must end. The system is horribly corrupt and broken, the pain it can inflict on adoptees is literally life-threatening, and the potential risks to adoptees outweigh the benefits. The risk of trafficking is real, and ..read more
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