Ten Years
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
1w ago
Yesterday, Hope and I observed the 10th anniversary of her moving in and me taking custody. I knew the day was coming, but I wasn’t intentionally keeping up with it. And then, last night a fleeting thought crossed my mind… “Wait, is today the day? We probably missed it.” ::Looks at calendar:: Oh damn, today is the day. So, I sent Hope a text. Our celebration. It is pretty crazy. In many ways it flew by, I flipped thru her graduation pictures recently. And then there’s evidence of the struggles, each one feeling like it was its own eternal path. I see the nearly totally gray head of hair. The f ..read more
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Girl, What?
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
1M ago
Say what now? This parenting-a young-adult thing is so damn hard. I remember one time a former pastor of mine told me that God actually does give you more than you can handle in order to make you more faithful. It was powerful in the moment, but now I see that interpretation as manipulative, insinuating that everything I was already doing wasn’t sufficient… Give and do more. Hope is evolving. Spreading her wings a bit. It’s awesome and terrifying. Her judgement is still shaky, and I kid you not, she’s into something new ish nearly weekly. Well in her most recent boondoggle, Hope asked me over ..read more
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Whew, Gratitude
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
2M ago
I’m just grateful to have had the stamina to make it to this point to be honest. For me, a single mom with my own life tragedies and traumas this year that are largely invisible, still standing s its own miracle. I forget my single mom label sometimes. Sometimes I’ll hear about other parents struggling with their aging kids, and it might sound so much worse. Yeah, me, comparing the weight of most parents’ worst nightmares. Then I remember to give myself grace. I’m winging this parenting ish. I finally found good resources to help me find my way to a new faith. I want to give more energy to thi ..read more
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Turning the Corner
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
2M ago
We seem to have really, genuinely turned the corner at Casa d’ABM! I lowkey had kinda lost hope that we would ever get back to some semblence of normalcy around here after so much drama this year. And yet we have. After so many months of festering anger, bickering, fighting, crying and so much more, Hope and I are clawing our way to our version of normal. And it feels so good. You barely remember how gloriously boring normal is unless you’ve been mired in conflict for so long. I finally feel like I can breathe. It’s been a few weeks since Hope finally seemed to emotionally regulate. I’m not f ..read more
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Better
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
3M ago
I was a mess in my last post, but I was also honest. I hit a bottom; I’m not sure yet if it was the bottom. I was in trouble. My primary care doc wrote me a new script and gave me good parenting advice, good medical advice regarding Hope and some great suggestions for getting through this period. He has been my PC for pretty much my whole adult life. He knows me and I trust him. I bought tickets to go to a play. I invited a friend to go, but she got sick. I took a chance and invited Hope. She said yes and we had a great time. It was a vibe. You really don’t understand…I internally bought last ..read more
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Ugh
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
3M ago
Does everything feel hard to you? Just me? Huh… Everything is hard. My respite in the Bahamas was short-lived. I was back in the office last week and feel like I’ve been on the usual rollercoaster ever since. Hope basically kept the house and Yappy in order while I was away, but something just felt…off when I got home. The energy in the house hasn’t been good since the beginning of the pandemic, but there were all sorts of little things around the house that didn’t seem quite right when I returned. I just let it go and pressed forward because, really, what else am I going to do? The moving-out ..read more
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Recovering
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
4M ago
I’m currently in the Islands boozing with wild abandon…and then falling asleep on the beach. I’m grateful to my mom friend who reminded me that I suggested we take a trip for some R&R about 2 months ago. I needed this. The pandemic has thrown off my vacation schedule, which has historically been March, July for family visits, and October. For the past two years of pandemic travel, I’ve only ventured to Mexico and the Caribbean. I think I’m ready to resume wider travel in 2023. But given the traumas of the summer I needed this reset. Parenting has been a relative challenge. This chapter of ..read more
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Onward
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
5M ago
It’s the day after Labor Day in the US, and that marks the beginning of fall. It’s my least favorite season. I mean, I love the clothing evolution–booties and cozy sweaters–but emotionally it tends to be one of my most challenging times of any year. Despite my best efforts, I usually succumb to depression by the time winter rolls in. I’m kinda nervous because I know I’m already a bit down, so it’s going to take extra effort and intention to fall down the rabbit hole. I kinda chuckle at the irony of needing to fight depression, when the absolutely LAST thing you feel like doing when you’re depr ..read more
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Nothing New
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
5M ago
Not much has changed around the house. Not much has changed between me and Hope. We are polite, sometimes almost close to lovingly so. We might occasionally laugh about something together; I live for those moments. I feel like they give me a peek into the good times. I usually choke back a few tears when we laugh together or she wants to tell me something. We both have some very clear boundaries that we have quietly constructed. I give hers extra wide berth, while she likes to nudge mine just to see how far she can go. I’m doing more cooking than I have in a long time. I cook on the weekends s ..read more
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Just Breathe…
Adoptive Black Mom
by AdoptiveBlackMom
6M ago
Time flies, doesn’t it? Seems like posted more recently, but alas, almost two weeks! Things are kinda stable right now. I guess. It’s hard to definitively say that they are because I so traumatized by the events of the last couple of months. It’s hard to buy into the fact that there hasn’t been an eruption in a couple of weeks. I’ve been trying to resume normal activities, but it’s hard, My anxiety is high. My depression is dark. I’m exhausted, always exhausted. I break out in hives every day because I’m so stressed. A few posts ago a follower inboxed me to suggest looking into a particular me ..read more
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