Happiness!
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Someone is pushing the clock hands forward. My washing machine whirs on the spin cycle because I am cleaning the lining of my babies' bassinet; a friend will be placing her tiny swaddled newborn in it next month.  The clock hands have gone round on their own spin cycle and my newborns don't fit anymore. They are climbing stairs, chewing apples, and engaging in philosophical conversations, puffing on pipes and sipping whiskey by the fire. I also have a first grader who jumps out of the car on his own at school in the morning and does NOT, I repeat does NOT, need his mom to slide down the ..read more
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Breastfeeding Twins: my story
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Grace. Let my first word of this post be grace. Breastfeeding twins comes naturally for some mamas while others, like me, will struggle. For me, the desire to feed my babies at the breast was enough fuel to help me endure and overcome three months of struggle and feeding challenges. It was hard but worth it. For other mamas, the emotional and physical challenges will be harder than mine and they will make the decision to pump, use donor milk, or switch to formula. Still others will be forced due to circumstances beyond their control to let go of their desire to feed at the breast. Whatever ..read more
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Q&A: More kids? Balancing life? Favorite cookbooks?
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Thank you for all the questions you asked me in response to my request for this Q&A post! I think of myself as someone who goes deep fast and it seems like many of my readers are too; wow you asked some great and pointed questions! I won't be able to get to all of them, but I chose the most repeated. A few I have addressed in the past (read my thoughts on faith and fertility treatments in this post) and the questions about breastfeeding I've decided to answer in their own post so look for that in a few weeks! I'm also thinking about writing a post on the whole process of embryo adoption, b ..read more
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ONE!
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Tomorrow morning Ira and Roman will wake up as one year olds! I am mesmerized by them. Everything they do is normal yet everything they do surprises me, delights me, and moves me to a love so deep sometimes I wonder how my body doesn't just burst apart in a spectacular show of fireworks and glitter. I spend my days at home fumbling at my phone to get a picture of the most amazing new skills they have learned or adorable thing they are doing. And then I spend my evenings yelling at John to, "LOOK! QUICK! LOOK! LOOK AT THEM!" I Skype my parents in the evenings and relive the adorable moment ..read more
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Twins' 11 month update
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
We've passed the 11 month mark and suddenly I'm staring my babies' first birthday in the face. What. Watching your children grow can feel like a constant bargaining between grief and joy. It's always saying goodbye in one breath and hello in another, crawling slowly past the excruciating parts while clawing at the incredible ones and trying desperately not to let them slip away so fast. It's happy and sad. It's some relief and some regret. It's looking forward and back, back and forward... it's both. It's both. It's both. "Maturing" feels like a strange word to use to describe a baby ..read more
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What to focus on
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
My sister is a professional photographer in Ontario, Canada and while she grew her business largely on wedding shoots, lately she has been doing a lot more lifestyle photography, especially working to grow her portfolio with newborn shoots. I've been watching her instagram feed and getting inspired. I started to think about taking pictures of my boys the way she does with her clients: pictures that are beautifully styled, clean, soft, precious. So I pulled out my camera one day when the sun was mostly out (a rare thing here in Michigan in February!) and the lighting was nice in our home. Init ..read more
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Twins' 10 month update
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Ira and Roman are 10 months old! If I were superstitious I'd ask you all to knock on wood as I tell you this: Ira and Roman's sleep is getting better! Our nights are not yet consistent but most nights each baby wakes fewer than two times and one of those times is right around the time I go to bed, so I'm only getting up twice most nights. Roman has even slept through the night a handful of times! We've dealt with travel, colds, ear infections, and hardcore teething this month so the fact that we are seeing improved sleep despite all those roadblocks is a very good sign to me! I am now ju ..read more
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Twins' 9 month update!
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Ira and Roman are nine months old! Month eight may have been their most adorable month yet. They interact with each other now on purpose, making each other laugh as well as fighting over toys. They are affectionate, silly, smiley little babies! Roman has become especially aware of wanting and getting things. He is almost like a toddler in this way! He gets super frustrated when he wants something and he can't get it but he is also extremely delighted when the coveted thing is in his hands; his coveted things are mainly: me, crackers, and the TV remote. Roman is an incredibly cuddly baby. He ..read more
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Christmas 2016
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Is January 6 too late to say, "Merry Christmas?" Yea. It is, isn't it? After our holiday celebrations I edited our photos and then our family was hit with a virus. So we've been sniffling and coughing and wincing over sore throats and I've been trying to be three moms in one as I've juggled two miserable babies and a sick six-year-old whose patience I try hard not to take for granted. To say I've been stretched this week would be... accurate. But Fridays are my husband John's day off so while he juggles our still-sick-but-thankfully-improving babies (Arie is back to school) I'm taking a few ..read more
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Twins' eight month update
Adding a Burden
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3y ago
Today Ira & Roman are eight months old! When they were born my mom told me the earliest one of her babies slept through the night was eight months. For that reason I have been looking forward to this age and am hoping to see some improved sleeping patterns for my two little sleep stealing monsters! I am really quite amazed that I am still alive when I think about the fact that I have been awake for eight months. Yes Ira and Roman continue to wake up a lot. This month John and I averaged anywhere from 6-12 wake ups per night. It's brutal. Just brutal. Just last month I was celebrati ..read more
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