How I Became a Gentle Parent
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
3w ago
I remember that day so clearly. I was cleaning the kitchen, and I was in no-nonsense, let’s-get-this-done mode. My plans were quickly derailed, though, when someone bumped into the 5-year-old. As soon as I heard it I thought, “Oh no, here we go.” This particular child was very sensitive, and I knew from past experience that getting bumped would be a huge deal to them. I was formulating how I would quickly shut down their cries so I wouldn’t have to stop cleaning. It would have sounded something like, “You’re fine. You’re not hurt. We're not going to cry about this.” I wouldn’t have taken tim ..read more
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There’s Not a Right Way to Celebrate Christmas
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
4M ago
Normally this time of year I start seeing lots of posts reminding people that they can have a simple Christmas – that they can just relax and quit stressing out about doing all the Christmas-y things. . And yet this year I’ve seen a new conversation pop up – there are those who feel that there’s not just been permission granted to celebrate with simplicity, but that there’s been actual glorification of it. Those who enjoy “doing all the things” are left feeling as if they’re doing something wrong by NOT simplifying their celebration. . The solution I saw offered to both of those approaches was ..read more
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What Does it Mean to Have a Voice in Your Marriage?
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
8M ago
One of the common phrases I hear women saying who are coming out of an abusive marriage is, “I had no voice in my marriage.” What might that look like for a woman not to have a voice in her marriage?   -If she tries to voice her feelings about something or give input into a decision, she might be mocked for it. -Her husband might tell her he doesn’t like her attitude or that her tone of voice is disrespectful. -Her husband might twist her words to mean things she didn’t say and then blame her for it. -Her husband might completely ignore her. Ultimately, the message being sent to her is ..read more
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Should We Talk Publicly About Abuse in the Church?
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
8M ago
Since I have turned this platform further towards shining a light onto domestic abuse in the church, I want to address a concern that some of my readers may have. This concern is regarding whether speaking about abuse in the church in an online format is appropriate as it may present a poor impression to unbelievers or turn them away from Jesus. My response to that concern will be two-fold. First, although I am sharing these things in an online context, my audience is Christians. I am writing to the members of the body of Christ, pleading with my brothers and sisters not to look away from the ..read more
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Here’s Why Domestic Abuse Victims Have a Hard Time Getting Help at Church
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
9M ago
On Sunday, I posted on Instagram about women who find themselves in the bathroom stall at church, crying because their abusive husband is smiling, chatting, and fitting right in with all the men in the lobby. But she knows the truth. She knows that the person he pretends to be at church is not the same person he is at home. A response I received was, “Why doesn’t she go to the church leadership for help?” While that might seem an obvious solution, it’s unfortunately not usually that simple. I reached out to a group of abuse survivors and asked them to share their answers to the question, “Why ..read more
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A New Direction for Imperfect Homemaker
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
9M ago
I have not written any new posts here for quite a while. The reason for that is that I am not the same person who started this blog over a decade ago. I knew this was likely to happen, that I would grow and change and view certain things differently, and that I’d likely disagree with some of the things I wrote in the past. I have always tried to write from that perspective – that I’m not an expert who is here to share unchanging truth with my readers, but that I’m just a woman who is continually in the process of learning. Everything I’ve written in the past has been a milestone of where I’ve ..read more
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Why “How to be a Good Wife” Might not be the Right Question
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
1y ago
“How to be a Good Wife” is a question I sometimes receive here, and it's a question I see come up frequently around the internet. Generally I explore that question one-on-one with the person at the other end of my inbox. I find out more about why they're asking, and we have a conversation about it that is relevant to the details of their specific situation. But for those who are searching publicly available books and articles to find answers to their pressing question about how to be a good wife, I want to address some of the common themes that I see regarding this question. Basically, I have ..read more
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Is Swagbucks Legit? How I Paid for my Kids’ Christmas This Year
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
1y ago
I was asked recently whether Swagbucks was a legitimate way for stay-at-home wives and moms to earn money. My answer at the time was “Nah. It's not really worth the time.” It's not that the site itself isn't legit (it totally is – I've had an account for years and received any payouts I've requested) I just didn't feel like most people would earn enough to make it worth the time spent. Most of what I had earned was from referral credits I accumulated when I owned a deal blog years ago, and I didn't think it was fair to give the impression that the general public would earn as much as I had. We ..read more
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A Wise Woman Builds Her House
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
1y ago
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. (Proverbs 14:1) Perhaps when you read that verse, you think something like, “If I want to be a wise woman, I need to build my house. Hmm…how do I build my house?” I’ve asked for people's thoughts about this verse on social media before, and all of the answers I received were along the same line. Everyone was thinking something like, “A woman can build her house by doing a, b, and c” ; and the a, b, and c were things like: Put others’ needs first Keep my home clean and clutter free Make my home inviting fo ..read more
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How to Pray for Your Husband When He’s Not a Godly Father
Imperfect Homemaker
by MaryEllen
2y ago
In the past I’ve shared some characteristics of a Godly father that I've observed. But what if your husband is not a Godly father? What if he: -Disciplines the children too harshly -Undermines your parenting -Speaks disrespectfully to you and allows your children to do the same -Does not show interest in teaching the kids spiritual things -Does not spend time with the children -Does not help you care for the children No doubt it’s hard to watch your children not receive the loving care that they deserve from a father. No doubt it’s hard to do all the work to teach them and take care of them ..read more
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