Welcome to the first Monday of the new year. It’s 2022 and if you’re like me, it still feels like 2019 was last year. Talk about a mindfuck. This is that time of year where most productive and growth-minded people sit down and focus on their goals, their identity, and who they want to be in the fucking world. Maybe you like to set some goals, create a list, check it twice… then, like most people, quit the gym membership in February and go back to exactly what you did the year before. I’ve written quite a bit about goals and new year’s resolutions in the past. Unlike most personal growth ritual ..read more

Last month’s was an unexpected hit. I can’t remember the last time I got such an overwhelmingly positive response from people about a subject. But I also got a lot of questions about pain, trauma, challenge, and struggle. Most of these questions were some variation of, “Is there such a thing as being exposed to too much pain?” or “Are there situations where pain and struggle aren’t helpful but only hurtful?” or “What about trauma? Clearly trauma is a thing.” These are all great questions. And for this month’s newsletter, I’m going to knock them all out with a deep dive into the psychology of p ..read more

Today marks the one hundredth edition of my newsletter. For ninety-nine newsletters, I’ve written with the intent to help and inform you. But for the one hundredth edition, I’d like instead to share what you’ve all taught me. I started my first blog in 2007. By 2011, writing and publishing online was my full-time job. By 2013, that writing was being read by over a million people each month. And while the exact number has fluctuated over the years, that still remains true. Early on in my career, as you would expect, I was grateful and amazed at the fact that so many people were reading my thoug ..read more

The Slap Last weekend, Will Smith walked on stage at the Oscars and slapped Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife. Since that moment, my phone and inbox have been inundated non-stop with people (friends, family, readers, journalists) wanting my “take” on the situation. After all, I just spent three years co-writing a book with Will about mastering one’s emotions. What the hell? First, let’s begin with the obvious: What he did was unacceptable. What I write here is not meant to justify or excuse his actions. He has already apologized to Chris and others in a public statement. These are si ..read more

This is a Mindf*ck Monthly newsletter from October 10, 2022. Every month, I send out big ideas I’ve been chewing on in the hopes that it makes you less of a shitty person. Let’s dive right in. Last month’s was an unexpected hit. I can’t remember the last time I got such an overwhelmingly positive response from people about a subject. But I also got a lot of questions about pain, trauma, challenge, and struggle. Most of these questions were some variation of, “Is there such a thing as being exposed to too much pain?” or “Are there situations where pain and struggle aren’t helpful but only ..read more

This is a Mindf*ck Monthly newsletter from September 7, 2022. Every month, I send out big ideas I’ve been chewing on in the hopes that it makes you less of a shitty person. Let’s dive right in. Table of Contents Trigger Warnings The Verdict Is In Death of “Safety-Ism” Trigger Warnings Years ago, many readers wrote to me complaining that I didn’t include trigger warnings in my articles. This was 2014-15 or so. The trigger warning thing had become popular on university campuses and left-leaning news sites. Given that at the time many of my readers were young students, an expectation aros ..read more

This is a Mindf*ck Monthly newsletter from July 18, 2022. Every month, I send out big ideas I’ve been chewing on in the hopes that it makes you less of a shitty person. Let’s dive right in. In David Foster Wallace’s classic novel, Infinite Jest, there’s a movie that is so entertaining that anyone who views even a small portion of it will give up all desire to do anything else in life in order to keep watching. Throughout the book, characters who see it give up family, friends, careers, even eating and sleeping, just to continue watching the film.  The overarching theme of Infinite Je ..read more

This is a Mindf*ck Monthly newsletter from June 13, 2022. Every month, I send out big ideas I’ve been chewing on in the hopes that it makes you less of a shitty person. Let’s dive right in. Table of Contents 3 Principles for a Better Life #1 You Are Perfect, But… #2 Most People Aren’t Evil #3 A Bit of Truth in Everything 3 Principles for a Better Life When I started this newsletter years ago, I started it with the pitch, “3 Ideas That Can Change Your Life.” For years, I sent out emails in that format: three ideas—one, two, three—thank you, drive through. So consider this a throwback em ..read more

This is a Mindf*ck Monthly newsletter from May 9, 2022. Every month, I send out big ideas I’ve been chewing on in the hopes that it makes you less of a shitty person. Let’s dive right in. Today marks the one hundredth edition of this newsletter. For ninety-nine newsletters, I’ve written with the intent to help and inform you. But for the one hundredth edition, I’d like instead to share what you’ve all taught me. I started my first blog in 2007. By 2011, writing and publishing online was my full-time job. By 2013, that writing was being read by over a million people each month. And while t ..read more

This is a Mindf*ck Monthly newsletter from April 1, 2022. Every month, I send out big ideas I’ve been chewing on in the hopes that it makes you less of a shitty person. Let’s dive right in. Table of Contents The Slap Will the Book Celebrity Worship Another Outrage The Slap Last weekend, Will Smith walked on stage at the Oscars and slapped Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife. Since that moment, my phone and inbox have been inundated non-stop with people (friends, family, readers, journalists) wanting my “take” on the situation. After all, I just spent three years co-writing a bo ..read more