The title of this post could be ‘Disappointment’, but……  Well, you’ll see. Yesterday Tate and I returned home from my parents’. I had come back to our place on Friday afternoon to clean up, sans small child, and get the Christmas tree and decorations out. I lugged our huge, yes artificial, tree up the stairs and got the boxes all out from under the stairs in the garage. I was so excited to put the tree together and hang the ornaments with Tate on Saturday. I was hoping to start our own tradition of putting our tree up the Saturday of Thanksgiving complete with Christmas music on the ..read more

One of my besties recently bought me a daily journal inspired by an author, podcaster, and overall kickass lady we both like, Rachel Hollis. Its purpose: to inspire us to become equally kickass by achieving our dreams through visualization and affirmations. Sounds powerful, right? It’s also pretty damn difficult. However, while the transformation to totally kickass is still a work in progress, the other part of the journal was more an immediate success. Before writing your goals, journal asks users to write down five things for which they are thankful each and every day. I felt I was grateful ..read more

This is a compilation of posts by some of our SMC members. They were posted on our lively online discussion Forum, inspired by the Thanksgiving holiday.  Good Thanksgiving wishes to you all! I am thankful for: My two beautiful, healthy, smart, funny girls. My amazing family, who are supportive, though many miles away. My job, which was at risk for many months, but is once again mostly stable and secure. My friends, without whose help some weekends would last months, and who have provided a local family for my family. The internet, without which I never would have found SMC and the in ..read more

The day after my donor conceived son was born, Abby, my birth partner, who I called my birth maid, told me, she had had a conversation about marriage with my dad in the car on the way back to the houseboat from the hospital. She had asked him why parents are so obsessed with their children getting married. My dad had said that he suspected that it was really about passing along genes and ensuring that the family continued. Did he care whether I got married now that I had given him a grandchild? she asked. “Absolutely not,” he said. My mom stayed with us for the first month after I brought Alex ..read more

Once I had decided that I was going to try to have a baby on my own it was time to start thinking about who was going to father said child.  I considered all the options, some more than others… One Night Stand?  Totally out of the question for me.  Gross/diseases/timing and of course morality. Known Donor?  I considered this briefly after a ‘close male friend’ offered.  It has its pros and works for some people but I didn’t want the danger of ever having to fight for full custody of my child.  I also didn’t want to be tied to this person for the re ..read more

1) Price and prep types (and cost of shipping or fees for retrieving from storage)? 2) Do they have adult photos of donors? 3) Do they have audio interviews with donors? 4) Do they have open ID donors and how does that work? 5) Will they ship to your home (with or without doctor approval)? 6) Can you sell back vials that you have in storage with the bank if you decide you do not need them anymore? 7) What are the family limits and how is it tracked /enforced? 8) Is there a forum for people who used the same donor to connect? 9) Is there a forum for donor conceived offspring to connect? 1 ..read more

Last week I was almost on a radio show. I was asked to be the voice of the single mother who celebrates that role and finds the joy in it. I was asked to share things I have learned along the way that make it easier: “What I was hoping you could bring to the conversation were the things that you do (or are discovering), to recharge your showbox batteries, and allow you to find enjoyment, satisfaction and perseverance in this sometimes challenging job of Single Mom. Whether it be mantras you repeat to yourself, physical exercise, time with friends, or anything else be that adds enjoyment to you ..read more

I waited for a long time to find Mr. Right and start a family but that never happened. Finally, I was at an age where I needed to make a choice.  I investigated adoption and hit many barriers.  So, I decided to see a fertility specialist.  I decided against insemination because of my advanced maternal age (I was 45 at the time), but decided to go the IVF route.  I initially wanted to use my own eggs, and according to my test results, I could have tried.  However, after much research of my own, the percentages I was finding for successful term pregnancies using my own e ..read more

From our online SMC discussion Forum: “The pendulum of my SMC decision-making has most recently swung toward NO WAY!! How could anyone ever do this? How could I ever do this? NO, NO, NO!!! I had been more positive about choosing to be an SMC, but I haven’t been able to shake this place I am now in. I could use some feedback about the different stages you have gone through as well as some of your thoughts and feelings about how one can do something seemingly so emotionally, physically, and financially difficult as having and raising a child alone. At the moment, only the model of two paren ..read more

When I first moved to California, I bought a bright blue VW beetle and drove up Highway 1, taking in the freedom of the West (Ok, I admit, a bit cliche). I was escaping New York because, on the cusp of forty, I hadn’t yet married and had a baby. I wanted to find a new life and identity outside the social pressures of wifehood and motherhood. Pretty soon, I fell madly in love. Not with a man but with a community on the houseboat docks of Sausalito, California, a place famous for its collectivist values. This romance gave me the courage to conceive my son, on my own, as a single mother by choice ..read more