Sex scenes in movies (and TV) have given us a wrong impression of what sex is really like. Here's the truth...and how it's better! The post Why Isn’t Sex Like What You See in Movies? appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous ..read more

Most spouses have something they’d love to do with their beloved, if time, place, and happenstance permitted. It could be something as tame as “sex by the fireplace” or something as wild as “multiple orgasms on a mountaintop.” But whatever’s on your fantasy to-do list, have you talked to your mate about it? Here are a few tips for putting together a Sexy Bucket List with your oh-so-sexy spouse. 1. Don’t Chase the High A Sexy Bucket List isn’t about chasing the next high. We can get too caught up in believing that a successful sex life involves ever-increasing pleasure or adventurous activitie ..read more

It’s Independence Day in the United States—the day we celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. America was intent on gaining its freedom, but it didn’t earn it until 1782. I started thinking about independence in marriage. Early in our marriage, my husband and I would debate about how dependent or how independent we should be. Dependence Some contend that we are one flesh, joined completely in all ways, and thus entirely dependent upon one another. Dependence advocates focus on how we complement one another, how we are like two halves of the same unit. As famo ..read more

One of the personal Bible studies that stuck with me most is when I did a deep dive into what God has to say about trust. While I found numerous passages telling us to trust God, I couldn’t find verses telling us to trust others. Rather, when it comes to human-to-human relationships, the emphasis is on being trustworthy. It jumped off the page to me that God is already trustworthy, so of course we’re instructed to trust Him. But God protects us by not encouraging us to trust those who don’t show themselves worthy of it. Trust is a big issue for marital intimacy, including the sexual kind. How ..read more

In recent years, I’ve heard a lot of discussion around emotional triggers. An emotional trigger is an event, condition, or sensory experience that evokes a negative reaction. Knowing one’s triggers can be important for treatment of and recovery from trauma, addiction or compulsive behaviors, and anxiety or depression. But the truth is, we all have triggers. We may not use that terminology, and the oft-used synonym “stressors” might be more relatable. But think about your own marriage and when you had that unexpected blow-up, that emotional shutdown, or that pity party for one. Most readers ca ..read more

It’s a great problem to have: I haven’t been able to blog lately because I’m in a crunch with a book deadline. My wonderful publisher, Baker Books, awaits the latest draft of The Higher Desire Wife, which will be released early in 2025. Since I’ve been steeped in this topic for a while, I decided to look back at the first-ever post I wrote about higher desire wives, way back in 2012. While I have a LOT more information, insight, and encouragement in my upcoming book (so stay tuned!), what I originally said on this topic held up pretty well. I’d add far more reasons for a husband’s unwillingne ..read more

When I first started this ministry (over 13 years ago!), there were few resources available for Christians wanting sex advice that was both biblical and practical. Yes, they existed, and I’m so grateful to those forerunners! But given the need, the supply wasn’t nearly enough. Nowadays, I can point to resources that provide quality information and wisdom for fostering healthy and holy sexual intimacy in marriage. And yet, local churches have typically lagged behind in this area. Some marriage ministries will cover the topic, at least for a class or two, but most churchgoers won’t hear a sermo ..read more

In the last few weeks, I’ve received three separate questions from wives that overlap in their tone. Summarizing what they asked about: Doesn’t a husband need oral sex to be sexually satisfied? How can I handle a husband who persists in wanting to be pegged (defined below)? Is a wife in the wrong for not wanting her husband to talk about her being with other men, aka cuckolding? Now, I generally believe that husbands love their wives and want to focus their sexual attention on the woman they chose, love, and married. I’ve written several times about my general admiration for men; for exampl ..read more

Last week, I covered the first three of seven misconceptions and false teachings about sex that still hang around out there, coming from Christian authors and speakers, church leaders, and believers in general. While we can have honest and reasonable disagreements about particulars, some principles should be affirmed by all Christians. The first four principles from last week’s post are: Sex is for both of you. God created sex for more than reproduction. Sex is not just a transaction. Force and pressure have no place in the marriage bed. This week, we’re addressing the final three. CLICK ..read more

This post was originally titled 4 Principles Christian Bloggers should affirm about sex. Several times since, I’ve thought that was far too narrow. Rather, all Christians should understand and embrace these principles—the four I’m sharing (again) today and the three I’ll share next week. From time to time, I read an article, listen to a podcast episode, or see a social media post from a Christian about sexual intimacy in marriage and find myself wondering what Bible they’re reading. While the overall message about sex from the Church has improved a lot in my lifetime, misconceptions and false ..read more