We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but there’s a tragic breaking story today that we just can’t ignore: All three of the Three Stooges are probably dead by now.  Oooof. This is a day that will live in infamy for fans of black-and-white slapstick antics everywhere.  Yep, it just seems impossible that at this point Larry, Curvy, and the other one could still be alive. Yesterday, there may have been a .0001% chance that one of them was, like, in a coma at 123 years old or something, but today is the day that is just no longer possible. Even assuming that they were all in their mid-t ..read more

A few years ago I bought a house that was located right in the middle of a golf course. I wanted to be able to watch golf through my window. The house cost me the entirety of my life savings from 25 years as a travel agent arranging vacations for people who like to visit movie theaters in different countries. I thought it would be great to live in a house on a golf course, but unfortunately the golf course is also home to a few miserable hags who live near the water hazard and make my life difficult. Some of them are worse than others. Here are the five miserable hags of the water&nb ..read more

If you’re the parent of young children or even just a kid at heart, there’s some great news that you’ve probably been waiting to hear for a long time: Build-A-Bear Workshop will now give you the option to have your toy bear stuffed with a bunch of live mice and chipmunks.  So much yes! Finally, an opportunity to create a stuffed animal that is truly custom.  The company announced the new offering on their website this morning in promotional copy that read, “Looking for something different? Build-A-Bear will now offer a premium stuffing material composed of a 60/40 mix of mice and chi ..read more

Quantum physics represents the cutting edge of modern physics, or so we’ve been told. It explains everything from the behavior of atoms to the multiverse to the size of the sun, probably. Honestly, we tried to do some research and it’s pretty confusing. It’s not the type of thing you can just sort of look up online. Seems like a lot of math is involved and maybe some other stuff too. Still, if you’re interested in learning the basics of quantum physics, we’ll give it our best shot to explain it to you in a way you’ll understand. It might not be totally accurate, but it will be cool to think ab ..read more

Welp, the USPS may have a scandal on their hands, all thanks to one postal worker who’s romantic life is brewing up some serious conflicts of interest: This mailman is dating one of the mailboxes on his route. Wow. If the USPS doesn’t have a policy about mailman dating mailboxes, they should probably make one. Mailman George Bryant, 46, has been going steady with a mailbox in the suburbs of Atlanta for nearly five months according to residents along his route, who report seeing Bryant spend significantly more time with the mailbox in question than any of the others he services. In the fall, ne ..read more

I recently watched the 2008 Pixar film Wall-E with my dad. The movie is about a robot who has been left alone on Earth to clean up our polluted planet. It’s considered a classic, but my dad wasn’t too crazy about it. In fact, at some points during the movie he was vocally hostile. Here are 14 times my dad booed during Wall-E. When the Pixar logo first appeared: My dad started booing very loudly when the Pixar logo appeared on the screen for the first time. My dad hates the name Pixar. He thinks the studio should have used the name he suggested to them in 1986: Compu-Film Industries. His ..read more

CONTENT WARNING: Those with clinical depression may not want to read this article, as the heartbreaking nature of the subject matter will likely intensify your symptoms. This kid was being bullied for having dingleberries even though he only had one dingleberry. How upsetting. When 12-year-old Daniel Brewster was changing in the locker room after gym class, a coterie of bullies noticed a poop particle hanging off of his anus. Tragically, the bullies immediately started chanting “Daniel has dingleberries!” which was just plain untrue. Daniel had one dingleberry. One. A singular berry, not this ..read more

With so much violence in the world today, it can sometimes seem like human beings have completely forgotten how to talk to each other and resolve their issues peacefully. Fortunately, there’s proof that in this age of endless conflict, productive dialogue and meaningful compromise are still possible: Mom and Dad have agreed to split a corn dog. Absolutely beautiful! This is the healing power of diplomacy at work. Mom and Dad’s historic agreement occurred during a visit to the local school district’s annual fundraising fair in Oakdale Park. While admiring stalls featuring lo ..read more

The heartbreaking culture of child abuse at Nickelodeon was recently brought to light by “Quiet On Set,” a docuseries that unveiled the “open secrets” of abusive behavior by former showrunner Dan Schneider and other employees. Fortunately, in response to these allegations, the network is taking action to prevent something like this from happening again: Nickelodeon has unveiled a new type of slime that will turn blue when poured over a pedophile. It’s great to see the network righting their past wrongs. In a statement released earlier today, Nickelodeon revealed that they have developed a new ..read more

Going on Shark Tank without a clear pitch can have devastating consequences for everyone involved. The people of Norway know this well, and for hundreds of years they have been telling vibrant and enchanting fairy tales designed to teach children about the proper way to behave when presenting your business ideas to the sharks. There are thousands of such fairy tales, and we’ve compiled translations of a few of our favorites for you to enjoy. Here are three classic Norwegian fairy tales that parents in the olden days used to scare children out of going on Shark Tank wit ..read more