Neurodivergence and Creativity
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
3w ago
The INFJ personality type and INFP personality type can easily fall into self-judgment about our ability to focus, or our lack of focus. This comes up especially strongly around the creative process. We tend to believe that “creative focus” means completing a project using linear steps, and being very organized all along the way. We also usually assume that being focused means we need to be efficient and fast when completing the project, and that we also need to stick with one creative project until it’s done. Being linear, organized, efficient, fast, and sticking with one thing until it’s do ..read more
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Creativity and Self-Sabotage
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
3w ago
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types both tend to struggle with self-sabotage in the creative process. Self-sabotage is an energy that is always driven by fear. For INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, the fear is often that if we experience a creative success, we will then be held to that higher standard for ever after. When we inevitably fail to meet that standard again in the future, we fear that others will be disappointed in us, withdraw their love, and then abandon us. INFJ personality types and INFP personality types also frequently have a fear of exposure. W ..read more
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Do INFJs and INFPs Live Odd Lifestyles?
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
1M ago
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types tend to be accommodating when young, and then we become more unconventional with age. As we ease into the midlife transition (also known as the “midlife awakening”) we may explore polyamory or unconventional partnerships with others. We also might travel or move more than other people, or live on the fringes of society. For many INFJs and INFPs, it’s common to cast off a lot of society’s programming and expectations as a normal part of the aging process. This helps us become more of who we are, and deepen our relationship with self and spirit ..read more
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INFJs, INFPs, and Survival Archetypes
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
1M ago
Many INFJs and INFPs grow up with trauma due to being raised in a situation where the entire family has narcissistic dynamics at play, or dealing with just one caregiver or sibling who is narcissistic, codependent, or consistently violates boundaries. The ongoing trauma that INFJs and INFPs suffer in their household as they are growing up often pushes them to live primarily from the role of a survival archetype. Two of the most common survival archetypes for INFJs and INFPs are the prostitute and the wounded child. When we live through the prostitute archetype we regularly “sell” some part of ..read more
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INFJs, INFPs, and the Midlife Transition
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
1M ago
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types tend to have a different experience of the midlife transition than other mainstream personality types. Since the midlife transition is not something that is celebrated in Western culture, it can be a difficult period of life for mainstream personality types. These more traditional types may feel like they’re losing their youth, beauty, and status in society. INFJ personality types and INFP personality types tend to be less attached to youth and beauty, and they also don’t tend to value their status role in society as much as other types do. In ..read more
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INF Personality Types, Narcissists, and Enmeshment
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
2M ago
Many INFJ personality types and INFP personality types grow up in homes where enmeshment is a common occurrence. Enmeshment is a form of codependency that is not often talked about in relation to narcissism, but it is strongly linked to narcissistic family dynamics. With enmeshment, the boundaries between family members (especially parents and children) are vague, blurred, unpredictable, and constantly changing. In an enmeshed parent-child relationship, the parent consistently merges their energy with the energy of the child. They expect the child to share their preferences, needs, attitudes ..read more
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INFJs, INFPs, and Aging Narcissist Parents
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
2M ago
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types frequently struggle with caregiving for an aging narcissist parent. This is a very difficult situation to be in with a close family member, especially a parent, because the INFJ or INFP must be in regular contact with the narcissist, and with all of their dysfunctional behavioral patterns. Added to this is the fact that, for most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types who grew up with a narcissistic parent, they have never felt truly seen or validated by the parent. This pattern of feeling dismissed, ignored, mocked, or shamed, only ..read more
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INFJs and the Myth of the Dream Job
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
2M ago
INFJ personality types are idealist personality types, and this extends to all areas of life. When an INFJ personality type focuses on what type of career they would like to pursue, one of the first things they consider is how well a potential job lines up with their idealist values. Many INFJ personality types (and INFP personality types) have an idealized vision in their mind of what their dream job would look like. This idealized vision is strongly tied to the value system of the INFJ or the INFP, and because this is so important to INFJs and INFPs, they often overlook red flags that the j ..read more
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How INFJs and INFPs Can Make More Money
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
2M ago
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types frequently struggle with making money. We also struggle with the popular advice to “follow your bliss.” For INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, our “bliss” is usually writing, music, and/or art, but it can feel very difficult to make a sustainable income from any of these activities. What most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types don’t understand is that “follow your bliss” is only one piece of the money-making puzzle, and it won’t work unless all the other pieces are in place. In order to truly follow our “bliss ..read more
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Do INFJs Attract Betrayal?
Lauren Sapala's Diary
by Lauren Sapala
4M ago
INFJ personality types and INFP personality types often feel unseen and unheard in relationships. They also share a pattern of abandonment and betrayal in relationships. Most INFJ personality types and INFP personality types understand that this pattern is a pattern that they also experienced in childhood, when one or both parents were untrustworthy and/or emotionally unavailable, but they don’t understand why they keep repeating the pattern in adulthood. They also don’t understand why it seems they actually attract people who will end up betraying them, including narcissistic and other manip ..read more
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