To fix sewage pollution crisis we’ll need to raise executive bonuses by 50%, insist water companies
NewsThump
by Andy Matthews
1h ago
Water companies have insisted they are making a serious effort to prevent sewage pollution by announcing a 50% rise in executive bonuses ..read more
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Keir Starmer accidentally calls Donald Trump ‘Dad’
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by Nathan Cowley
7h ago
Keir Starmer was left blushing after accidentally referring to US president Donald Trump as ‘dad’ whilst talking to reporters about the escalating situation with Russia ..read more
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Single grey pubic hair treated like sign of impending apocalypse
NewsThump
by Andy Matthews
22h ago
After finding a grey pubic hair, 36-year-old Simon Williams has reacted as if it is a sign that the world is coming to an end ..read more
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Keir Starmer willing to put thousands of armchair generals ‘on the ground’ to ensure peace in Ukraine
NewsThump
by Rich Smith
1d ago
Prime Minister Keir Starmer is planning to use the nation's greatest untapped military resource in its pledge to keep Ukraine peaceful; the thousands of armchair generals who claim to know exactly how to end the war ..read more
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Man furious to learn British Academy Film Award for ‘Best Film Not in the English Language’ went to ‘a foreigner’
NewsThump
by Nathan Cowley
1d ago
A man was absolutely furious to discover the BAFTA Award for Best Film Not in the English Language has been awarded to a film where nobody speaks English ..read more
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Master negotiator Donald Trump to end Ukraine war by simply giving Russia everything it wants
NewsThump
by Andy Matthews
2d ago
In a move that has stunned both allies and adversaries alike, President Donald Trump has officially announced his plan to end the war in Ukraine, by handing Vladimir Putin everything he wants ..read more
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Yorkshire celebrates Valentine’s Day a day late now cards and flowers are 50% off
NewsThump
by Davywavy
3d ago
Yorkshire is celebrating Valentine's Day a day late to take advantage of 50% off deals on flowers and chocolates ..read more
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Man who bought swastika T-Shirt from world’s most famous rapper pretty sure cancel culture is real
NewsThump
by Daniel Burt
4d ago
As one of the few who managed to buy Kanye West’s Swastika T-Shirt design before it was pulled from Shopify, Simon Williams expressed concern that once, again, the liberal media’s overreach would once again silence alternative viewpoints and vital countercultural spokesmen ..read more
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Beach evacuated while tax bombshell is safely detonated
NewsThump
by Neil Tollfree
4d ago
A tax bombshell has been safely destroyed in a controlled detonation on a beach in Sussex ..read more
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RFK Jr’s first health policy to reintroduce the ‘five second rule’
NewsThump
by Nathan Cowley
4d ago
The new US health secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr has introduced a mandatory ‘five second rule’ as his first policy ..read more
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