A SWAMPLAND TALE OF SCENT AND SECRET SENT MEMORIES Doris nodded and reached into a large storage pocket that hung from her armrest, withdrawing a floral sleep mask and a pair of foam ear plugs. She stuffed the plugs in her ears and positioned the sleep mask onto her forehead.  Drew Clay scoffed as the sheen of sweat in the amber light turned him to melted wax. “Wait, so you’re tellin’ me you ain’t a fortune teller, but a fortune smeller? I’ve sniffed up a fortune or two in my day too missy, it ain’t that hard. Hey, are you going back into a coma? Is that the only way this is gonna work ..read more

A SWAMPLAND TALE OF SCENT AND SECRET A KING IN YELLOW The tall man, decked out in a crisp white cowboy hat and wraparound sunglasses, flagged us down with his shed blazer of vibrant gold. Captured sunlight danced off the fabric as we slowed to a halt. He ambled up with a wincing smile and lowered the jacket.  This fashionable tower leaned into the driver’s window, stooping to address us mortals of flesh and blood:  “Y’all comin’ outta Lake Chuck, I see. Phew, sorry to stop you on this godforsaken washboard. Say, this some kinda news outfit? Seems the only thing newsworthy out this w ..read more

A SWAMPLAND TALE OF SCENT AND SECRET MADAME CONNERIE’S VISION: THE WORLDWIDE WEB I’ve often wondered, as any journalist worth their salt has done, what psychics dream about. In the case of Madame Connerie, it involves becoming a cosmic spider, specifically one with “a magnificent violet and gold mottled abdomen.”  In this many-eyed gracile form she hangs on a vast, seemingly infinite network of webs. She’s dreamt of this place countless times since she was a little girl. The webs are strung with twinkling beads of dew, each a coalesced world trapped within its own crystal ball. &nbs ..read more

A SWAMPLAND TALE OF SCENT AND SECRET IN THE PIT’S BREATH, A SOUL REVEALED Deep in the steaming bowels of the Louisiana bayou dwells a lonely enigma named Doris Lafitte. She’s gifted – maybe damned – with the world’s keenest nose. In the small and twisted world of nearby Lake Charles, she’s known to locals as the “fortune smeller.”  For a modest fee she’ll take a whiff under your arm and give you the rundown:  Your star sign, last night’s dinner, prescriptions, the silhouette of your unspoken fears – even the secret ailments chewing at your unsuspecting body’s foundation – all laid ba ..read more

Celebrities, like all alleged humans, need love. One such star is Anna Kendrick, the darling of stage and screen, who has been with K’aratazaar, a reptile-pig monster, for years.  The couple met as many Hollywood A-listers do: in a sewer under a hotel. “I was evading paparazzi who were growling and barking outside my hotel door. I gently moved out of the second-story window and snuck into the sewer. That’s when I saw K’aratazaar eating live rabbits like they were french fries,” Kendrick shares. From there, the pair would meet in secret, due to K’aratazaar’s disturbing appearance. He didn ..read more

FOOD DELIVERY DRONE STRIKE MAY BECOME COMMON Technology is reshaping the world we live in dramatically, and the food delivery industry, too, is without exception. The rise of food delivery drones has become an increasing source of both innovation and concern. These drones are reshaping the way people used to get their groceries and food items delivered. Arguably, food delivery drones are providing food at added speed and convenience.  However, there is another growing concern with these benefits, which is what if food delivery drones demanded employee benefits and longer lunch breaks with ..read more

In a remarkable display of sensory mastery, a local man has surprised the community by showcasing his extraordinary ability. The ability to identify potato chip flavors while blindfolded. This unique talent has not only captivated the attention of curious onlookers but also sparked discussions about the power of our senses and the potential for honing our perception skills. Uncovering the Extraordinary Talent John Smith has developed an exceptional ability to discern potato chip flavors with astonishing accuracy, all while being blindfolded. Through countless hours of practice and an unwaverin ..read more

The Unlikely Duo: Steve Albini and Elvis Presley’s Heavenly Collaboration The iconic music producer Steve Albini has reportedly embarked on his most extraordinary project yet. In an astonishing development, he will be collaborating posthumously with the legendary Ghost of Elvis. This news has captivated fans from both the earthly and celestial realms. It broke on May 7, 2024, revealing that the legendary musician and producer had made the transition to the great recording studio in the sky. Remembering Steve Albini: The Nirvana Producer’s Legacy Steve Albini, renowned for his minimalist record ..read more

Cat Runs for Mayor In a remarkable event, a small town recently witnessed a historic mayoral election. This election captured the attention of the nation. In this election, a cat named Fluffy emerged victorious, winning the mayor’s seat with a surprising majority. Fluffy have become a symbol of change and innovation in local governance. It happens with a platform centered around feline welfare and a promise of “Catnip in Every Pot.”  The Rise of Fluffy  Fluffy, a charismatic and lovable feline, captured the hearts of the townspeople. The feline did so with his appealing personality a ..read more

BREAKING NEWS: “Rent-a-Baby” Service Launches, Offers Temporary Parenthood Experience FOR MILLENNIALS In a bold move catering to the commitment-shy millennials, a groundbreaking service called Rent-a-Baby has emerged, offering a unique solution for those hesitant to dive headfirst into the world of parenthood. This innovative venture provides a temporary parenting experience, allowing users to dip their toes into the waters of child-rearing without the lifelong obligation. Rent-a-Baby comes as a lifeline to a generation known for delaying major life milestones like marriage and starting a fami ..read more