The Onion
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America's Finest News Source. It is a parody news website. The Onion is a Peabody award-winning news source founded in 1765 by Friedrich Siegfried Zweibel. T. Herman Zweibel. Many consider him the "Father Of American Journalism," also the title of his well-known 1943 biography, written by Norman Rombauer.
The Onion
1h ago
KYIV, UKRAINE—In a desperate plea for aid in the continued effort to expel his nation’s Russian occupiers, sources reported Friday that President Volodymyr Zelensky had called upon the United States to send a totally psycho marine to assist in Ukraine’s war effort. “You know, one of those expertly trained,…
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The Onion
1h ago
Onion Sports shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in the NFL’s Conference Championships.
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The Onion
1h ago
Meta has announced that Donald Trump’s Facebook and Instagram accounts will be reinstated, two years after he was suspended over incendiary posts about the Jan. 6 riot at the Capitol. What do you think?
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The Onion
8h ago
WASHINGTON—In an effort to encourage those who were in possession of sensitive items to bring them back as soon as possible, White House officials announced Friday that a new drop box outside the National Archives would allow former presidents to anonymously return classified documents. “Any past commander-in-chief…
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The Onion
10h ago
WASHINGTON—Feigning shock and surprise over gruesome details about the murder of Tyre Nichols by Memphis Police, U.S. officials announced plans Friday to continue pretending brutal state-sponsored violence was not supposed to happen. “Today, as we deal with the fallout from the death of Tyre Nichols, myself and the…
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The Onion
15h ago
SAN DIEGO—Remaining unhoused despite the brave sacrifices he made to keep America safe, sources reported Friday that Tinker, a local dolphin trained to kill by the U.S. military in the 1960s, was found lying destitute under a bridge downtown. “It’s really sad, after everything they went through in Vietnam, to see…
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The Onion
15h ago
NEW YORK—Three hours into a craniotomy at New York–Presbyterian Hospital on Friday, brain surgeon James Roth reportedly held a small mirror up behind the patient’s head so she could see how the surgery was looking so far. “Do we love it?” asked the neurosurgeon, who used the handheld looking glass in tandem with a…
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The Onion
15h ago
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis recently blocked an Advanced Placement African American history course from public schools. The Onion asked conservatives why they oppose an AP African American history course, and this is what they said.
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