The Onion
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America's Finest News Source. It is a parody news website. The Onion is a Peabody award-winning news source founded in 1765 by Friedrich Siegfried Zweibel. T. Herman Zweibel. Many consider him the "Father Of American Journalism," also the title of his well-known 1943 biography, written by Norman Rombauer.
The Onion
3h ago
Eighteen-year-old Barron Trump, Donald Trump’s youngest son, is making his political debut as a Florida delegate to the Republican National Convention in July. What do you think?
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The Onion
7h ago
WASHINGTON—In an effort to ensure the munitions were completely untraceable, the U.S. military began filing the serial numbers off all missiles being sent to the Israeli government, anonymous sources within the Pentagon confirmed Friday. “In the wake of recent IDF operations in Rafah, we will no longer serve as arms…
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The Onion
14h ago
SAN DIEGO—Noting that the adorable abominations would not last long, Petco announced Thursday that all human-pig hybrids were on clearance at its retail locations across the country. “Starting today, customers can come in to any Petco store and buy a pink, humanoid pig-man or pig-woman at half price,” said Petco…
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The Onion
14h ago
JOPLIN, MO—Though decades have passed since the incident that sealed his reputation through childhood and beyond, siblings of Dennis McKee told reporters Friday that their youngest brother’s status within the family continued to be that of the one who threw scissors at their mom one time. “Regardless of anything Denny…
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The Onion
15h ago
Kicking off festivities leading up to the Summer Games in Paris, the Olympic torch arrived in Marseille where tens of thousands of onlookers watched as it was ceremonially transported from the port to the mainland. What do you think?
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The Onion
15h ago
PHOENIX—Stressing over the first-time meeting all afternoon, local woman Lisa Stone reportedly felt nervous Friday about introducing her historically hard-to-please parents to her lousy lay. “This is huge—I’ve never brought home such an uncoordinated, selfish lover before,” a visibly antsy Stone said to a friend,…
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The Onion
1d ago
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. stated that in 2010 after he experienced bouts of memory loss for which he sought neurological treatment, one of his doctors found evidence of a parasitic worm in his brain. What do you think?
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The Onion
2d ago
Florida has passed a restrictive law that bans abortions after six weeks from a woman’s last menstrual period, before most women know they are pregnant. The Onion breaks down the numbers behind the state’s war on reproductive rights.
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The Onion
2d ago
Citing their concerns about citizens’ privacy, a bipartisan group of senators is pushing to limit the use of facial recognition technology in airports, a rapidly expanding part of the check-in process. What do you think?
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The Onion
2d ago
DENVER—Finding it an adequate substitute for the alcohol she used to consume during an evening of social drinking, local woman Candice Cooper told reporters Thursday that an $18 mocktail helped her satisfy the craving she still had to waste money. “It’s nice to have a drink that gives me that same experience of…
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