Study Finds Ozempic Can Reduce Alcohol Cravings
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
1d ago
A growing body of evidence suggests that GLP-1 drugs, which include semaglutide, the active ingredient in Ozempic, may be useful for treating alcohol use disorder. What do you think? The post Study Finds Ozempic Can Reduce Alcohol Cravings appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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Political Profile: Kristi Noem
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
1d ago
Kristi Noem has vowed to use her power as Secretary of Homeland Security to crack down on immigration. Here is everything you need to know about the Trump cabinet member’s background. Ethnicity: Real Housewife Religion: Cabela’s fundamentalist Homeland Security Experience: Has Ring camera Dream Job: Host of an HGTV show about making over the border […] The post Political Profile: Kristi Noem appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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Trump Unsure What Department He Has To Cut To Make JD Vance Go Away
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
1d ago
WASHINGTON—Expressing frustration over the vice president’s continued presence in both the White House and his life, President Donald Trump was reportedly unsure Monday about what department he had to cut to make JD Vance go away. “I’ve tried the Education Department, USAID, the FBI, and still he keeps showing up,” said Trump, who lambasted the […] The post Trump Unsure What Department He Has To Cut To Make JD Vance Go Away appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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Dalai Lama Revises Claim Life Only Suffering When Not Listening To Golden-Era Supertramp
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
1d ago
DHARAMSHALA, INDIA—The Dalai Lama announced in a press conference Monday that he has revised his position that suffering is an inevitable fact of life and that he now believes life is only suffering when one is not listening to golden-era Supertramp. “I was recently lent a remastered version of Breakfast In America, and it went down […] The post Dalai Lama Revises Claim Life Only Suffering When Not Listening To Golden-Era Supertramp appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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It Almost Weirder That Grown Man On Roblox Isn’t Grooming Children
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
1d ago
SEATTLE—Voicing concern about the adult’s aberrant behavior, sources confirmed Monday that it was almost weirder that Richard Shea, a grown man on Roblox, wasn’t using the online gaming platform to groom children. “If he was on here trying to find underage players and lure them into some sort of sexual relationship, that would be super […] The post It Almost Weirder That Grown Man On Roblox Isn’t Grooming Children appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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Igloo Recalls Coolers Over Finger Amputation Risk
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
4d ago
Igloo is recalling more than 1 million of its coolers following reports that a handle issue led to serious injuries, including fingertip amputations and bone fractures. What do you think? The post Igloo Recalls Coolers Over Finger Amputation Risk appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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Joann Fabrics Announces Plans To Make Mishmash Store Out Of Shuttered Locations’ Scraps
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
4d ago
The post Joann Fabrics Announces Plans To Make Mishmash Store Out Of Shuttered Locations’ Scraps appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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JD Vance Sets Out Little Heart-Covered Mailbox On Desk Just In Case
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
4d ago
The post JD Vance Sets Out Little Heart-Covered Mailbox On Desk Just In Case appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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Tips For Embracing Single Life
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
4d ago
Despite stereotypes that unpartnered people are lonely or unhappy, being single doesn’t have to be a burden. The Onion shares tips for embracing single life. Take yourself on a date! There’s no reason you can’t have fun being visibly, utterly alone in public.  Delight in the bacchanal of carnal pleasures that is the Omaha hookup […] The post Tips For Embracing Single Life appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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FTC.Gov Redirects Users To Latvian Sports Gambling Site
The Onion
by The Onion Staff
4d ago
The post FTC.Gov Redirects Users To Latvian Sports Gambling Site appeared first on The Onion ..read more
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