This Week In Entertainment March 02, 2024
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2h ago
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This Week In Breaking News March 02, 2024
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This Week In Local March 02, 2024
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Biden, Trump Make Separate Border Visits
The Onion
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21h ago
Joe Biden and Donald Trump took competing visits to the U.S.-Mexico border yesterday, both in an effort to show voters that their stance on immigration is the better one, as the increase in immigration during the last four years has become a primary concern in the 2024 election. What do you think? Read more ..read more
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Apple Reveals Vision Pro Has Been Autonomous Vehicle All Along
The Onion
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21h ago
CUPERTINO, CA—Stunning fans and investors who had long assumed the company’s electric car project was dead, CEO Tim Cook took the stage at an Apple keynote event Friday to announce the Apple Vision Pro has been an autonomous vehicle all along. “Not only are plans for an Apple electric vehicle not canceled—it’s been on… Read more ..read more
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Gazan Hopes To Live Long Enough To See His Children Eat Dinner
The Onion
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21h ago
RAFAH, GAZA—Saying he had imagined the day since the moment they were born, local Gazan man Ibrahim Awad told reporters Friday that he hoped to live long enough to see his children eat dinner. “As a parent, all I want to do is be there for my kids and, if I’m lucky, survive long enough to watch them find a handful of… Read more ..read more
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Americans Guess Who Will Replace Mitch McConnell
The Onion
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23h ago
Now in his seventh term in the U.S. Senate, Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced that he would step back from his position as minority leader later this year. Here, Americans give their best guess for who will replace the long-serving conservative lawmaker. Read more ..read more
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This Week's Most Viral News: March 1, 2024
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1d ago
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Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor
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1d ago
GENEVA—In an impassioned speech at a peace summit hosted in Switzerland, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky issued a striking challenge to his Russian counterpart Thursday, inviting Vladimir Putin to settle the war between their two nations on the dance floor. “After two years of fighting we have reached a… Read more ..read more
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Authorities Called In Glasgow ‘Willy Wonka’ Experience Scam
The Onion
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1d ago
Lured by AI-generated images of an immersive Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow, families across Scotland bought a total of 850 tickets to an event hosted by the House of Illuminati only to arrive at a half-empty warehouse in a shock that left parents outraged, children crying, and police called to the scene. What do yo… Read more ..read more
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