It’s time for every groundbreaking ceremony ever
The Duffel Blog
by Tony
15m ago
Just a bunch of guys having a bunch of fun. YOUR BASE, Your Current/Upcoming Duty Station — We regret to inform you that your entire section will be slated to (finally) attend a groundbreaking ceremony in the near future. We can imagine your surprise. We ourselves are surprised. After all, it seemed only yesterday someone near retirement told you the new facility was going to be moved to some other logistical black hole in 2010, before you were even in. That would have compounded the already substandard parking situation. But you will be relieved to know the powers that be have hashed out th ..read more
Visit website
Bill to strengthen HIPAA would strip PII from military graves, memorials
The Duffel Blog
by Robin Berger
3d ago
Yep. It all has to go. CAPITOL HILL, Washington, DC— A House subcommittee will begin deliberations next week over a data security bill that could force the VA to delete personally identifiable information (PII) from military headstones and memorials, officials confirm. The Subcommittee on Health is scheduled to review bipartisan House Resolution 6764, the Service Member Privacy and Caregiver Awareness Act. “We have a duty to protect service members’ personally identifiable information,” VA press secretary Terrence Hayes told reporters yesterday in an online press conference. “Here, Congress ..read more
Visit website
Soldier wrestles with starting a profile on LinkedIn or OnlyFans
The Duffel Blog
by As for Class
3d ago
Really could go either way at this point FORT CAVAZOS, TX — In a dilemma increasingly common among service members, Army Specialist John Richards is facing a tough career decision: whether to start a professional profile on LinkedIn or to dive into the world of content creation on OnlyFans. “It’s a real crossroads moment for me,” Richards admitted while scrolling through his phone. “On one hand, LinkedIn could help me network and land a solid job after the Army. On the other, I hear you can make a killing on OnlyFans just by showing off your daily PT routine and doing feet stuff.” Share Rich ..read more
Visit website
Americans wondering if we can just get WW3 over with already
The Duffel Blog
by Gray Sea Liu
1w ago
I mean, is anyone else tired of waiting around for the inevitable? EVERYWHERE, USA— On Jan. 28, 2024, three US soldiers were tragically killed in a drone attack in Jordan, orchestrated and carried out by an Iranian militia group. US forces responded on February 2, striking 85 targets affiliated with the Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps’ Quds Force. With those exchanges followed by Israel’s April 1 strike on the Iranian Embassy in Damascus and an Iranian cruise missile and drone attack against Israel on April 13, international peace advocate Russia is urging restraint while Americans ..read more
Visit website
Kids’ Choice Awards names War on Terror 'Coolest War for Kids'
The Duffel Blog
by Cat Astronaut
1w ago
A slime-covered but victorious Nasrullah Shadazai rejoices. NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards has selected the Global War on Terror as the winner of its annual “Coolest War for Kids” award for a record 23rd year in a row. “Whether it’s the ability to get blown up in an errant drone strike, or pick up a rifle after nap time and pop some skulls, the War on Terror has always kept kids in mind,” the citation read. “And it has the coolest video games.” Share Hosts John Cena and Amanda Bynes presented the coveted orange blimp trophy to some Afghan villagers after ceremonially ..read more
Visit website
Navy rams ___ into ___ in show of force to near peers
The Duffel Blog
by As for Class
1w ago
An oopsie? Nope, just pure naval awesomeness.  THE OPEN OCEAN – The United States Navy has once again rammed ___ into a ___, fulfilling its quarterly task of aggressively posturing its capabilities against anyone who would defy them.  This is just another in a set of brilliant crashes. Let us not forget the time a ___ crashed ___ into another ___. Or the time the ___ jet careened itself into the ___. Or even when ___ went aground in ___. And the time ___ sank when it was not involved in combat operations. Or the ___ when the ___ hit the ___ in the ___ ..read more
Visit website
Fort Liberty to solve trash problem with innovative 'burn pit' program
The Duffel Blog
by Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
1w ago
Wilcox plans to eliminate the bulldozer to “optimize soldier fitness” FORT LIBERTY, N.C. — Following reports that base garbage bins at Fort Liberty were overflowing with uncollected trash, garrison commander Col. John Wilcox announced a groundbreaking new program that he promised would solve the garbage problem in no time. “I’m amazed no one’s thought of this before,” said Wilcox as he glanced at a formation of soldiers humping full trash bags toward the closest empty dumpster a mile away, “but what’s old is new again. This morning I signed a directive that each company at Fort Liberty will ..read more
Visit website
Navy to increase recruitment by lowering enlistment standards for foreign spies
The Duffel Blog
by The Dirty Lt
1w ago
DEI run amok? ARLINGTON, Va. — Current difficulties meeting recruitment goals are driving the Navy to overcome recruitment challenges with an aggressive and creative new plan: lowering standards for foreign spies and implementing a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy regarding asking applicants’ pesky questions regarding citizenship and foreign ties. Secretary of the Navy Carlos Del Toro spoke highly of the change at a press conference. “As you’ve seen, we have many foreign spies who wish to serve, so who are we to ignore a clear source of recruits? Even Chinese spies can mop and serve chow. Plus ..read more
Visit website
Toxic Major looking forward to being toxic Lieutenant Colonel
The Duffel Blog
by As for Class
1w ago
FORT LIBERTY, N.C. — Army Maj. Jonathan Dewnot, a man spoken of in the hallways of Fort Liberty with a mixture of dread and shock, has officially announced his anticipation of ascending to the esteemed rank of Toxic Lieutenant Colonel. Known for his “unique” leadership style that many liken to drinking bleach for motivation, Dewnot is ready to expand his horizons of torment. “I’ve been honing my skills in the fine art of toxic leadership for years, and I’m thrilled to take it up a notch”, declared Maj. Dewnot, while casually flipping through a handbook titled ‘101 Ways to Crush Souls’. “As ..read more
Visit website
'Just an exercise,' says USAF of ominous, ancient Egyptian-style gate erected ahead of eclipse
The Duffel Blog
by W.E. Linde
1w ago
Welcome to eternity. Submit comments in Issue/Discussion/Recommendation format. WRIGHT-PATTERSON AIR FORCE BASE, OH. – As excitement builds across the United States for the upcoming total eclipse, joint US military units at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base have been busily setting up ominous “gate-shaped” structures covered in what appear to be ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. The structures, surrounded by statues of various pagan deities, are located by the airfield, which is located directly in the path of totality. “It’s just an exercise,” said Col. Ariel Batungbacal, commander of the Natio ..read more
Visit website

Follow The Duffel Blog on FeedSpot

Continue with Google
Continue with Apple
OR