We had a heat pump installed this week. Yesterday, the temperatures having reached 101F in my town, our patio hot enough to blister the soles of our feet, I felt the house starting to cool. Having lived my whole life where I got as hot as my world, this feels quite odd. Good, in that I no longer have to run through the house opening and closing doors and windows to capture as much cool air as possible, and I no longer worry that I have to shelter in our local library if the heat wave extends even one more day. But odd, not to feel in my being what the Earth is doing right now. Let me temper t ..read more

It isn’t lost on me that many of you began to read this blog back in 2011-2013, when I was working in San Francisco, wearing clothes for working people, and taking semi-picturesque street photos of my working outfits. Kind of a bait and switch, to find ourselves talking roses, and the nature of time and memory, and whatever else falls out of my fingers on a Saturday morning. Hence, a lil’ style post. This is made challenging by the fact that unless I’m in sweatpants or joggers, i.e. fancy sweatpants, I pretty much wear one pair of pants to every occasion. These. Brown, ponte Eileen Fisher lan ..read more

I am too hot to write. It’s cooled down today, a bit, from highs of 105 on Tuesday to something like 88 predicted today. These days our 1950s thermostat reaches its maximum of 105 any time it’s hotter than 95 outside. I don’t know how hot it is when outside reaches 105. Just too, too hot. We never needed air conditioning in this part of the world, but changing climate, and the large elm backyard that fell a few years ago eliminating shade, have made it unavoidable We’re having a heat pump installed later this month. I hope my brain is waiting in cold storage for me and I will be able to find ..read more

This summer, I’m attending the wedding of a Swedish step-niece in the south of Sweden. It will be held in a farmish-gardenish sort of venue, from what I can tell. It will be summer, as I said, but Nordic summer, i.e. inscrutable. The dress code is colorful and festive casual. Following the wedding, as my husband will be staying home, one of my sisters and I will be taking a short trip to hike in and gawk at some Norwegian fjords. Hence, I’ll carry one suitcase and a backpack, all carried on the airplane and mention lugged around trains and mountain hotels. One more piece of data: I am as excit ..read more

In the very early days of this blog, I told, anonymously, stories of what I called “High WASP” culture. Never mind if I had anything insightful to say–I think my early readers enjoyed the artifacts. Simple stuff, in other words. Stuff tells stories when we let it. That glass, the gold-bordered lip of which, curved outward, we cannot see, comes from a yacht owned by my great-grandfather Mr. Bliss. Or maybe my great-great grandfather, also conveniently known as Mr. Bliss.  Hand-painted: May, as in the SS May. The crossed flags represent a) The New York Yacht Club and b) a personal insignia ..read more

I’ve always struggled with Internet Gratitude. Feels too much like mayonnaise on a lens; smearing over life’s hardships so as not to mind the things that everyone does, in fact, mind. And in my darkest moments, Internet Gratitude for women looks like a tool of oppression. “No, we won’t listen to you, we won’t acknowledge your labor, now go in the corner and feel grateful for this wilted daisy in a jar. Drat, we forgot the Smuckers label.” Not my nature, that. When I was young, admonishments to be grateful felt like shaming. I knew I was fortunate, who would not, but still I struggled as young ..read more

My daughter’s engaged!!!! To be more precise, I should say, “My loving, tender, fierce, loyal, breathtakingly competent, brilliant, beautiful daughter is engaged to a wonderful, wonderful man and we are all over the moon!!” Any of you mothers out there who’ve had this moment know how I feel, and everyone else can imagine it with help of her enormous smile and my myriad exclamation points. All my best to all of you, and to those you love so dearly. Just writing that brings tears to my eyes. Have a wonderful weekend. The post News, Or, Saturday Morning at I’m-Too-Excited-To-Care O’Clock appeare ..read more

I don’t know about you, but I love recommendations from online friends. The world is crammed full of “recommendation engines” so it’s nice to come across the favorites of non-machines. Here are six things I’ve really enjoyed lately: books, a TV series, a movie and as a change, two cooking websites. One I’m guessing many of you have read James, by Percival Everett? A retelling of Huck Finn, from the point of view of the enslaved man known as Jim in Mark Twain’s story. I’m not going to tell you much more than that, because so much of the novel’s brilliance stems from a choice of narrative imagi ..read more

If I had posted this five years ago I’d be introducing you to a hidden gem. As it happens, the Bay Area has discovered West Marin so get here as soon as you can before luxury resorts arrive and we’ve got Napa all over again. Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed my fair share of the Wine Country and more than my fair share of luxury resorts but for me it comes down to beauty, and Pt. Reyes and the surrounding area will make your eyes roll back into your head. In a good way. We arrived on a warm afternoon, less surprising as the climate has changed. We stayed in the cutest little Airbnb, the Neon ..read more

All the tube-contained lip unguents I own. I use that tortured descriptor to exclude neither the necessary lip gloss, nor lipstick nor lip balms. Oh, and a pencil. Here’s a game, with lots of hints. Guess which one I bought in an airport years ago to attend a New Year’s Eve get-together in Shanghai? Guess which I have worn only once, bought because I had convinced myself I needed more blue-toned makeup and keep now just in case I might some day wear a black dress and feel like fuchsia? Guess which I keep trying to like but it’s just too dang perky for me? Guess which ones cost $5 each? Guess ..read more