I flip-flopped for weeks about whether to sign up for Bible study. Not because of the teacher or the content, but rather, for the first time in decades of living sold out, over-the-top committed to the local church body and all it stands for… I’ve become cynical. I’m over church. I’m over attending on Sundays. I’m over the apathetic actions I witness from Christ-followers. My apathy comes out in deep swirling emotions in ways I’ve not expected. I’ve been hurt by a lack of authentic community, hurt by leadership choices, hurt by not feeling heard. I lay awake replaying hastily made decisions. I ..read more

“When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that he would give you — a land with large and beautiful cities that you did not build, houses full of every good thing that you did not fill them with, cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant — and when you eat and are satisfied, be careful not to forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the place of slavery.” Deuteronomy 6:10-12 CSB As the Israelites were preparing to enter the promised land, G ..read more

See, I am doing a new thing!     Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness     and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 NIV Spring is truly in the air, and it reminds us of one of our favorite verses. This passage from Isaiah brings to mind pictures of burbling streams, a path to follow in the driest of deserts, and God making all things new. New weather, new milestones, and new menus to see us through the start of a new season. There’s something about a good old BLT (bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich) that just s ..read more

I didn’t expect how hard it would be. Sure, thirty years had passed since I last sat in a college class. And, of course, I knew graduate school wasn’t a walk in the park. I expected it to be a challenge; I looked forward to it even. And I’d been waiting decades for the opportunity to be just right. But then the first day of seminary arrived. And with it, overwhelm and panic. For the love, you’re 52 years old. What in the world are you doing?!  The weight of doing something new, difficult, and full of unknowns fell on me like a ton of bricks. My longtime dream turned into a hard reality fa ..read more

I’m scrolling through social media and I find myself repeating one phrase, “Look what she did!” I say this as I see women doing good things — leading, creating, connecting, accomplishing, achieving dreams. It doesn’t take long until another phrase follows, “I should be doing that too!” I slip into comparison like a too-tight pair of jeans that squeezes in all the wrong places. I feel the pinch of inadequacy, the tug of guilt, the familiar sensation that I am not enough. I don’t feel good in this state of mind. It doesn’t fit me. It doesn’t bring out the best in who God created me to be. But I ..read more

Every week my mom serpentined through Chicago traffic during rush hour to get me to piano lessons on time. I could not be late. Dr. Whang was strict, but with good intentions. She desired for her students to be the best they could be. With her subtle but firm tone, she taught us that precision and practice were paramount for progressing pianists.  In the early years of piano, I was required to practice 30 minutes a day. I stumbled through scales and struggled to follow the metronome that helped me keep time. Competence was born out of repetition. But through the years, I began to look for ..read more

Last month, I celebrated a birthday. I always anticipate my birthday far enough in advance that when it arrives, it doesn’t feel like such a big deal. Turning thirty wrecked me, but forty and fifty, not so much. I’m discovering age is not what it seems from a distance and what you see in the mirror may not reflect what you feel inside (cue George Strait singing “Troubadour”). Because the births of our eight children spread across nineteen years, we still have children at home, whereas my mother had been an empty nester for at least fifteen years at my age. This is a sobering age… my mothe ..read more

You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. Genesis 50:20 NLT As I dumped the puzzle pieces on the table, I challenged our pre-teen daughter to sort and assemble the 100-piece puzzle without the box top picture. With purpose stirred, she started, then stopped. Started, then stopped. What should have been an easy task, resulted in mounted frustration due to her lack of clarity. “Mom, I can’t begin to put this puzzle together. It’s way too hard, and I need some kind of a guide.” I let those words stew a bit b ..read more

A ..read more

A ..read more