My husband and I went to Philadelphia a few weeks ago for a quick getaway and lots of you have been asking me for details on what I did while there, specifically which bars and restaurants we went to. Okay, literally one person asked me, but my inflated ego makes me believe that everyone else wants to know too, but just didn’t get around to emailing me about it. I’d never been to Philly except for one night about fifteen years ago when I went to visit a friend in Swarthmore and we took the train into the city to go a gay bar one night. This time, we had three whole nights there and we knew we ..read more

Five long years ago, I wrote a blog post about someone named Lance who had some strong opinion about tipping. Namely, he didn’t think servers deserved to be tipped. Of course, I dragged him through the mud, tarred and feathered him and then put him out to pasture like he was a twink on poppers who just got gang banged by a bunch of fraternity brothers. Lance was out of my mind completely until last week when someone else left a comment on that very same blog post: If you want a tip get a better job. You are nothing but a living breathing conveyor belt. Just a monkey that brings food from the ..read more

(Bell County Sheriff’s Office) Remember a couple of weeks ago when I shared this video of a customer who threw soup into the face of a cashier? The customer was upset that her soup was so hot that it melted some of the plastic lid and the plastic ended up in her precious menudo. Instead of being a regular person who would gladly accept a refund or another bowl of soup, she thought it was a good idea to assault the very person who was trying to help her. The soup was too hot for a plastic to-go container, but not too hot to pour onto a human face, right? http://thebitchywaiter.com/wp-content ..read more

  I have a question for you: can we fund a movie off of tips? I think we can do it, but more on that later.  Some of you know that over the summer, I shot at trailer for a movie. If you don’t know about it, where the hell have you been? I literally post about it all the time. I’m going to release the teaser very soon so you can see what it’s all about. It’s sorta like (my all-time favorite movie) “Waiting” if you added Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees into the mix and when I say “Freddy” or “Jason” I mean a Karen. But I need your help to make this teaser into a movie. Look, I’ve alw ..read more

Hello, is this thing on? It’s been ages and ages since I’ve written a blog post, but here I go. Last week I was blocked on Facebook for seven days. After I appealed the decision, they admitted that they “got it wrong” and two days later they reinstated my privilege of posting memes and bullshit on their stupid fucking platform. You probably didn’t notice that I was blocked because I have a couple of team members who can post to the page on my behalf. The reason I was blocked was for bullying and harassing. The person I was accused of perpetrating this horrible crime upon was a woman who freely ..read more

Bridges around the country are about to be without their trolls because all the trolls will soon be commenting on this blog post. New York City has just announced that a proof of vaccination will soon be required in order to work at or go into a restaurant. “If you want to participate in our society fully, it’s time to get vaccinated,” Mayor Bill de Blasio said during a press conference. To that I say, “it’s about fucking time.” The vaccine will also be be needed to go into gyms or other indoor entertainment venues, but let’s focus on restaurants, shall we? For months, restaurant workers have ..read more

This week, I was a guest on a Canadian morning show. Before I went on, I jotted down some notes of the things I wanted to say. Since the TV show was for a Canadian audience only, it seemed prudent to also share these pearls of wisdom with some of the rest of North America. Restaurants are understaffed. Please have patience. For whatever reason, staffing has been a challenge. You might see empty tables, but that doesn’t mean there’s enough staff to seat them all. Your food might have taken longer than you think it should have, but maybe there’s only two people in the kitchen instead of the fou ..read more

It’s been over a month since I walked through the doors of the restaurant I had worked in for over ten years, but it happened last night. It was too warm to cook dinner and I found myself craving those french fries I had gotten used to eating whenever I wanted them, so I called in an order. The voice on the phone was not one I knew. A few weeks ago I met the guy who had replaced me, a very nice guy named Dimitri, but this didn’t sound like him. Rather than play the “I used to work there, this is Darron” role, I ordered just as if I was any other customer. “I’d like the burger, medium well with ..read more

You know me, guys. I’m always standing up for the rights of restaurant workers and saying the things we’re not allowed to say when we’re on the clock. Well, fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy blog post. Someone, who shall remain forever and always anonymous, sent me a photo of a letter that made its way to an Olive Garden from a very unhappy customer: To whom it concerns: We dined at your restaurant today and were greeted by a guy who think’s he’s a girl. This repulses us, and we ask that you please do something about this. We do not wish to be greeted by sexual deviants at your ..read more

Because I am a waiter, I can’t help but jump at every opportunity to assist someone when it comes to matters of food and restaurant life. Serving is in my blood. Literally, my veins course with water, salt, proteins, red and white blood cells, platelets, a few ounces of tequila and some serving, so when I was reading the Chili’s Facebook page and saw that someone wanted to know how to reheat their Chocolate Molten Lava Cake, I wanted to help this woman. Never mind that Chili’s already answered her question with a half-assed answer telling her to put it in the microwave for thirty seconds. That ..read more